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Many people point to the symptoms of love as its definition (patient, kind, attentive, etc . . .). I believe this leads to much confusion. IMHO love is a placing of value. When you say, I love you or I love this, replace the word 'love' with 'value'. It is the value that we assign to ourselves, others or things that leads to those famous symptoms. For me it makes love, whether given or received, much clearer in its context.

beenthere 7 Dec 23
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I personally don't try too hard to define that which cannot be defined. Love is something different for everyone and every relationship. I imagine one constant might be the inherent placement of value; yet, still, love rolls off the tongue so much better.

Indeed.

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Or...is romantic love just a temporary state of consorting pairs as found many places in nature. Before you get all warm and fuzzy about "love", consider that 50% of marriages fail, many of those who remain married are unhappy and many more have just mellowed to an accommodation wherein a state of detached "live an let live", exists "for the sake of the kids". At some point, one needs to grow up and be an adult.

Has "love" been hard on you then. Don't feel alone, you are not the only one.

@Jolanta You missed it by a mile. My point is that romantic "love" does not exist...it is a myth. If it was not a myth, there would be more happy marriages and relationships. As a high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome person, my view of human relationships is not colored/altered/influenced by emotion. In short, "love" is no more real as is religion, Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus.

@dahermit Do you think that as a Asberger’s person you would have a clue. Romantic love does exist, just not that often as in books and romantic movies.

@Jolanta As an Asperger's person, I am a keen observer...we (high functioning Asperger's), do not look at the world through the colored lens of emotion. In any event, just show me the evidence (the preponderance of evidence)...I have stated that the norm is the majority of failed/unhappy marriages. Show me the evidence for the existence of romantic love...but please, please do not show me the exceptions in the form of a few warm and fuzzy anecdotes.

@dahermit Oh my little hermit. I have met people in my lifetime that are and have romantic love. As I said it is not often that it happens but it does. How can I prove it to you, I can't. You have to meet these persons yourself. How was/is your parents marriage?

@Jolanta Foolish, foolish girl. If there is no proof then it does not exist...no matter how bad you want it to.

@dahermit which bit of “I have met people/ couples that have a romantic relationship “ don’t you understand?

@Jolanta What part of, "but please, please do not show me the exceptions in the form of a few warm and fuzzy anecdotes." (inadequate sample and anecdotes are NOT data), do YOU not understand? It is your emotion based interpretation that leads you to such a conclusion. There is no more proof that romantic love exists than there is God exists. Yet you conclude one is true despite the lack of proof...why is that, do you suppose?

@dahermit Have a wonderful life in your state of Aspergers.

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I agree. Romantic love is the highest of valuing.

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Similar upbringing,likes,dislikes,and of course the physical attraction is also part of it. Many long term marriages have begun from the mutual attraction part,developing into love for the other person who will (you hope),will be your partner in the road of life.

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Love is a feeling of connection to another person.

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Interesting.

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