There are times where I unintentionally insult my mother. She's extremely religious. I was never favored by her growing up. She spent more time admiring my older brother and younger sister for having more European traits that I didn't inherit. Being atheist made things worse.
Recently, she made a comment that in school, they never studied science or chemistry. I asked "so what did they teach? Bible study?" Everyone laughed, but my mom had an insulted look on her face. I almost feel bad. Didn't mean to hurt her if I did. It was an honest question. Anyone else go through something similar?
I go through this all the time. I grew up in a religious home, but I can remember even at a very young age it just didnt add up. And now that I'm grown up and am in school to be a scientist, my mother and I hardly agree on anything. We've been in a few good arguments that begin with this topic. I've learned thats shes "x" yrs old (im not gonna say her age lol women don't like that) and I'm 28. She's be alive a lot longer than me and has been living that way a lot longer than I have. It'll be much easier for me to adapt than her. Just don't talk about religion anymore. And if it's brought up, just thank her for her concern. Because that's all it really is, they don't want us to "burn in hell". My parents always favored, and still do, my two older sisters because they took the traditional route in life, got married, had kids, go to church, etc. and I question everything. It's nothing to be ashamed of, just know it means you're smarter and are living a fuller life. You're not a sheep.
Wow, it must've been rough experiencing favoritism and rejection; esp. growing up, and from your MOTHER. While there is something to be said for tact and timing, there is no exact 'right' way that works for everyone. I've been guilty of saying things at the wrong time; however, the most sincere comments are often interpreted as disrespectful and or funny.
Some perceive your comment as 'disrespectful' for several reasons; primarily, because you violated the 'rules of entitlement'; which in this case the following applies: (1) She's your mother, and only making a comment; (2) She didn't ask a question, so some expect you to just be quiet and listen; esp. in front of others. (3) Because you responded, and others found it funny, she may have felt deflated and embarrassed; and (4) You were the cause. I dare ask, would your mothers response be different if one of your siblings said it? Would she feel equally insulted if no one laughed?
Nevertheless, there is a difference between giving a "possibly" ill-timed, yet sincere response, and suppressing your thoughts and views by walking on "egg shells", just to satisfy someones self-righteous attitude. It seems to me that one of the positives from your experiences is that you're truly an honest, inquisitive truth seeker. I hope this helps
It wasn't easy. She denies showing favoritism, but it's been obvious. People use to ask if I were anything but her child. Childhood pics, I'd be furthest away from her.
So I imagine anything I say would've set her off. You're more than likely right, that she would've taken it less as being mocked if one of my siblings asked. She'd probably answer with pride. Lol
I usually tend to keep my mouth shut when it comes to poking fun at religion while around my family. They all take it very seriously, and would probably lose respect for me if I made such a joke. At this point, my being polite and cordial is probably one of the only reasons why they are willing to discuss religion with me.
No I can't claim I went through anything similar, but my mother "was" Catholic as I was growing up she slowly became more and more secular. My father "was" (dead now) an Atheist, so it was my dad that got the glares from my mother. I married a religious woman, and now I get the glares from her.
not meaning to judge but you intentionally married someone who was religious while you were atheist? isn't that just asking for conflict?
I'm glad that works for you lol. I avoid dating religious people. Starts off fine and then it gets irritating. They try to convert me, or I meet the family that tries to convert me. Lol
I live in Kansas City it's not like the secular gene pool is very strong out here beside you fall in love with whomever you fall in love with. Theist aren't stupid they're just misinformed.