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After my months of being at university, I went home to see my mother.

It's been a long time since I had posted on this site. University has taken a toll on my health, but I shall not focus on that here. I just want to share what happened earlier when I came home for my mother's special day.

It is her birthday. I pretty much moved away just to be free with my own choices, beliefs, etc. Still, for this day, I went home. She told me to meet her at a restaurant. I told her I'd be home before 7 (at night). It was all going according to plan, but traffic delayed me an hour.

When I got to the restaurant, I saw her eating alone with tears on her eyes. Maybe she thought I was not coming home. She had ordered a grand meal for the two of us just to celebrate her birthday.

I know I went away because I don't want to live in a community of religious folks, but it pains me to see her being in pain that I left her for a long time with little visits and little calls.

As much as I don't like her firm imposing of beliefs in me, she's still my mother. She's still a person that I should care for. When I arrived, we hardly talked about religion at all. We just talked about the things going on at the city and my schooling.

CesStuart 5 Jan 19
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8 comments

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0

She is going to be your mother until you die. Visit her more often. Beliefs or no beliefs, she won't always be there. And that, my beautiful friend is worst than any pain you may feel

0

It is unfortunate that differences in beliefs are contrived to result in such false choices.

There is nothing wrong with your living out your beliefs but it's sad that your mother feels in some sense a failure because of it. You're a good daughter though to make some reasonable accommodations and overtures to your mother, so long as she is not toxic about it. I'm so happy that you were able to have a sane conversation about the many, many topics you can both agree on. Good for you both!

0

Thank you for sharing your story, it really touched me. Sometimes all we need to know is that we are appreciated and loved.

1

It is possible to live your own life without rejecting your mother. You just need to adhere to a few of your principles while in her presence.

3

You only get one mom and one chance at life. You are fortunate to still have her, mine passed two years ago. Kindness counts. Take care of yourself and each other. ♥

1

Family is family you have to do what works for both. You might dislike yourself for the pain you feel you might have caused. But in the end she wants you to be safe and happy. I know this because all parents do. You got into university you are getting more education and making connections that you may have suspected but are now seeing more clearly. You need to make the choice you can live with. No one can fault you. Good luck.

1

Can you teach her to use Skype? Can she use a cell phone? These things really help.

4

People can have meaningful relationships without ever discussing differences in religion and beliefs.
Just set the boundaries where you feel comfortable and don't get sucked in to any discussion you don't want to.

Also, take care of your health. You only get one body and one brain. Give both the best care that you can.

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