Melvin to Carol: You make me want to be a better man.
From the film As Good As It Gets.

I don't think it's ever 50/50.

Real change has to come from within. Doing it JUST to satisfy another will not work in the long run.

That is what I thought and therefore K started cooking the food my husband liked, stayed home watching TV with him and doing without affection. Twenty-seven miserable years. He did not reciprocate doing things I liked.. We are now divorced.

It's true and my natural inclination is to give up the things I like in order to spend more time with my partner. However, the sacrifices can eventually wear off on you and build resentments. I think a far better arrangement is for partners to support each others interests and ambitions rathan than hinder them. Freedom to be who you are is incredibly important in a successful relationship.

My marriage of some 59 years was based upon each of us making decisions in which we both gave up things to be together. I was catholic she was methodist we married in the Episcopal church and later became atheists together. I wanted to make a career in the military and she opposed it but we had a military wedding and I had a successful career in sales. It has been this way throughout are marriage and it has been a pleasant one.