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This is a "what would you do" sort of discussion...

A former co-worker, who I happened to like as such, and always got on with ok, did something dumb at work, that got him fired. Then, his wife of 11yrs (it seems, using this as an excuse), said she wasn't going to support him, and threw him out.

I got all this from him yesterday, when I happened to be passing through a Walmart parking lot on my bicycle, and saw him there. He's in the infamous Walmart "camp ground", living in his car, awaiting unemployment, that he qualified for, to kick in. I did feel for him - not an easy situation.
But he's always been one of those "woe is me" kind of folks who gripes a lot, has a bit of a temper, and tells way too many details about his family, his surgeries, and negatives in general. So as I was listening to his tales of woe - I got quite the earful, and inwardly decided to limit any assistance I might offer.
For a more upbeat human, I might actually have offered a room in my house (even though it's a tiny house). for a short stint. I want to help somehow - yet keep some distance.

He's got some money, and is eating and all, as there are other stores and restaurants close by.

What would you do ?

** Update Sunday night - THANK YOU all for your input - it definitely helped me settle my mind.

By evergreen8
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15 comments

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0

You coulda let him crash....

0

Just what you did. It is the kind of support he needs.

0

I was surprised at how many of the comments seem to think kindness is counter-productive in this situation. Maybe it is and what makes it more confusing is the place social security takes as an alternative to kindness. I wonder in how many circumstances would personal kindness be counter-productive? Maybe all the circumstances social security covers?

brentan Level 8 Feb 3, 2019
2

Say to yourself "not my circus, not my monkeys". This is not your problem.

GwenC Level 7 Feb 3, 2019
0

Depends how old,if his older like 60 something i might offer him a room in my house and stay there for a while but if he still young probably i help him in other way around?

@Philippe78 ?

1

I'd probably offer to treat him to dinner somewhere, and listen to his story, but the guy sounds like he's his own worst enemy. Only he can fix that.

Byrdsfan Level 8 Feb 3, 2019
1

I might give him a little money but I wouldn't invite anyone negative like that to live in my house.

3

I'd have done what you did... sounds about right. You care enough to want to help - but, sensibly, there are limits. Sounds right to me.

0

I agree with help him find a job. Do not let him live at your house. If you help him find a job, his wife might take him back. You can be sure she won’t want him back if he’s living with you. Or she might get really mad and then you’re putting yourself right in the line of fire.

Elusia8 Level 6 Feb 3, 2019

I've already ruled out the housemate option - too potentially troublesome. One of the things he mentioned to me was he and his wife haven't been intimate for years. TMI

1

Don't doubt yourself, evergreen. You probably made the right decision.

mykhael Level 6 Feb 3, 2019
2

Thoughts and prayers?

He is a holy roller ... maybe.

3

Don’t make his problem your problem. There is a reason wifey tossed him, she’s had a belly full of him and this was the last straw.

1

Let it go, he'd get old on you real quick !

Buddha Level 7 Feb 3, 2019

That's what cautioned me. He sometimes got old at work, but I could easily go elsewhere then !

3

Let him figure it out. His screw-up caused the mess he's in.

Besides, I'm absolutely certain that any assistance you, or anyone else, could
give him, would be nothing but a waste of your time.
You would regret trying to help him, and in fairly short order.
Your "good deed" would NOT go unpunished.

KKGator Level 9 Feb 3, 2019
2

Help him find another job if you can.

Orbit Level 7 Feb 3, 2019

Absolutely NOT!!!!
That's a terrible idea!
Let him find his own job.

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