Been there, done that. How about you?
“It can be difficult to leave a long-term relationship, even when our inner-wisdom tells us it's time to let go. At this point, we can choose let go and endure the intense pain of leaving behind the familiar to make way for a new chapter in our life. Or we can stay and suffer a low-grade pain that slowly eats away at our heart and soul, like an emotional cancer. Until we wake up, one day and realize, we are buried so deep in the dysfunction of the relationship that we scarcely remember who we were and what we wanted and needed to be.”
~ Jaeda DeWalt
Just been through that......glad to be on the other side!
I stayed 13 years after it went bad. I didn't realize how beat down I was until I finally left. Life is so much better now.
Hmmm.... This post would be appropriate for the Widows and Widowers group too.
Got out of two marriages quickly that became dysfunctional.
@MissKathleen Bad communication as love sours means lack of respect, and it's time to pack.
@MissKathleen Bad communications makes fixing rather difficult. My second wife and I went to a counselor, only once because she stopped it. Time to pack. The first one was a mismatch from the beginning.
@MissKathleen For sure. I've become more careful as I've learned about people. It takes a lot more than good sex to make a good long term relationship. On can fall out of lust and still love. Some people develop a neurotic dependency for their mate, instead of a healthy, "I'm OK, You're OK, I love you, and you turn me on." attitude.
A friend of mine, who happens to have lost his feet to MRSA, has a gf who I think has a neurotic dependency to "take care of him." When he started doing things around the house and talking about getting a job, she became frantic and took some thyroid pills, to hurt him by hurting herself. I listen to him talk about her and them, and I"m thinking he will eventually leave her. But, he is in lust and sees things in her that he likes, so he is trying to fix the relationship, which is good. Maybe they can work it out.
Anyway, there are less extreme neurotic dependencies, because I had a neurotic dependency on my first wife, but learned my lesson. I'm only interested in healthy relationships.