Lost a close family member and it's gut wrenching. She is gone. No longer will I see her face or hear her voice. This was it and I'm mad. I am sad. Grieving. The she's at rest or looking at us words no longer comfort me. As we all will she is no more except in our memories. For me that is the land of the remembered and I will still honor her in keeping her memory alive.
I'm sorry as well. My mother just passed. Life is short and then it's gone. We work to much and play and laugh to little. Even the memories fade.
I’m sorry to hear this. You sound like a strong person who will come through your sorrow and live in joy.