Yes it can seem to completely undo you, particularly if it's your first experience of grief and loss. It is very much part of life and the human condition, though, and you do eventually manage to accept and integrate the experience. The two biggest (and separate) losses for me were my wife and son, and while there's an aspect of it that still feels beyond comprehension I have learned to accept the unacceptable. Because what else can you do.

But it takes time. LOTS of time, and patience with yourself. It's a process and it unfolds almost like it had a will of its own. It comes and goes, too. Just let it happen. You actually are stronger than you realize, and coming out the other side of it, there will be a crazy kind of freedom -- the freedom of one who has nothing to lose.