I don't talk about it much, but mother's day is kinda hard for me. I have two children that I'll never see and never hold. Two children whose heartbeats I felt but never heard. I've made sure I'll never experience that loss again. It's hard some days, especially on mothers day, to be reminded of the children I lost to life and to death. What would they look like today? What kind of people would they have been? One would be 10 the other 6. In a different world maybe they'd be here with me. I try not to dwell on the what ifs and the if onlys, but sometimes I can't help but wonder.

And despite everything they are my children, even though I only carried them for a short time, and I love them.