"She's GAY! This was presumably made known to him, I'm sure."

this gives me a new theory: maybe he is afraid she'll turn him gay? i mean isn't that how that works? proximity to the gayness? clearly if you're a child and you see two mommies drop off their kid to school, or kiss, or make eyes at each other in a disney/pixar/pbs production - bam... utter gayness. a path you will not recover from, sinner.

i can see why he doesn't want to be alone with her. re-education camps are set up for kids. a slippery slope to be avoided.

either that or god can't get him keep his dick in his pants.