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I have taken the past few weeks to sit back and contemplate where I am at. Some would call it soul-searching , but since I don't believe in souls, I'll just call it heart-searching. It began when tRump's followers chanted "Send her back". I felt broken. Then came the 3 mass shootings. I felt like I was in the proverbial rabbit hole. The world, as I know it" is disappearing. There is a new norm. I'm in small little NH. Nearly every night there's mention of some sort of violent interaction going on, many times a murder or at least a shooting. It was unusual if there was even one a week just a few years ago.

This has manifested itself in the fact that I haven't slept well in over 2 1/2 years.  People whom I have been friends with for years villify people "like" me for not accepting the man who is president.  Someone from the town I work in posted a comment about the protest being planned for tRump's visit today.  Not about the rally but about the protest rally and saying "Who's in".  This is a person who lives next to the school and flies his Confederate flag in full sight declaring it is about "independence".  Some of the comments were horrifying. School board member and others in the town constantly putting the teaching staff and administration down for "wasting so much money".  A constant barrage of hatred on so many levels.

    School will be starting in about 10 days, and I need to change my attitude.  I can't go in teaching with all of this affecting me like it has in the past.  I was very angry by the end of the school year and let several people know it.  I would rant over the tiniest things.  I need to let go of the anger and the hatred.  I am going to focus on doing my best to change what I can.  I am doing my best to be educated on all the candidates and make the best informed decision I can in February.  Once a candidate is chosen, I will do everything  I can to support her/him.   I will do my best in supporting and challenging all my students and supporting my fellow teachers.  

    I will avoid contacts with those who purposely try to antagonize.  I skipped a week of camping because I knew one particular person would be there.  He intentionally tries to get me going.  On an earlier trip (to my friend's wonderful camp), I let him go on and on and just ignored and read my book.  He was miffed and there was talk of how I wasn't being sociable.  Oh well.

    So basically you may see a change in my posts and comments.  No more anger or hatred (hopefully).  I would like to thank my best friend for helping me with this by buying me some pot for the summer.  Ruined my diet but saved my sanity.
NHjulie 8 Aug 15

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Be of good cheer Julie....Lee Iaccoca said in a sane world the best job would be can inspire and train so many students in lifeskills....and you have good news to sing like John Lennon NO HELL BELOW US ABOVE US ONLY SKY IMAGINE NO RELIGION it isn't hard to do.....and choosing Green Party @HowieHawkins20 means you don't have to settle for a lesser of all evils....

Imagine is my favorite song of all time, but I will never vote for a third party and allow tRump to stay in office.


Turn your TV and radio off. Some times ignorance really is blissful.


Sorry to hear you so despondent and I am not one bit surprised. Unfortunately in the US some people don't really believe in freedom and democracy, no matter how much they scream about it. I too become very depressed a couple of years ago when we the Australian right wing party was elected. For days and days I was just so sad, but now I just get on with life and make the best of it. That doesn't meant that I have stopped of protesting about what they are doing, that doesn't meant that I have stopped informing people of what is happening but in a way that they do not feel threatened or belittled. Education and transparency is the answer to all this. When the people are educated and know what is going on, they will act differently.

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