Its almost as if we absorb it, to try and rid the situation hoping no one will have to feel what we feel,no one should feel worthless, so we try no matter how many times we get hurt or taken for everything, to help that person who's in need, or at least its that way with me. I know what its like to have no one and have nothing, A phone call isn't the same, when you truly have no one to sit and hug, talk to or even just be in the same room, this is rock bottom for someone with depression or anxiety. Over time it will build, not that we want it too, but it does, eats at us, attacks become hours, mind racing, heart thumping out of control, the pacing, you have zero idea what it will do to a person. I'm a very strong individual to say the least, until i'm bad, it hits me like a wrecking ball, turning my day to shit, sometimes i can't leave bed, i can't leave home,i'm a mess, pacing,crying, wanting to kill myself it gets so bad, I know why most take there own life, to escape what we go thru, people that say its the cowards way, they truly have never had to deal with being a rat in a lab, with medication, its not you go to a doctor and your good, its months of appointments, various medication with some serious side effects, its missing work, blood tests, having your family look at you like your crazy, friends walk away from you. Relationships fall apart, talking to doctors, its a never ending cycle, at the end of the day who really stands by your side, family will turn on you, friends? what are they today? Relationships? Shit, they are over, or under the next person later that night. The world is a shitty place, then to add this to someones life, is a wrecking ball, no matter the swing, that fuckers going to hit something and cause some serious damage. No matter if it misses the first time or not. Who wants to live with this..... nobody, that's why if a remedy isn't found sooner than later, they will take there own life for the inner peace. I stick by scumbags everyday. I see they are suffering inside, and more times than not, I just try to help ease there pain...while inside, I'm dying more and more. But I know if i can help one, it makes it worth it. I never want someone to feel like i do on a daily basis. You need a friend, i got you,l. What ever it is, my inbox my house my phone is judgement free, You need to escape lets go. Just don't be alone when things are bad...you have no idea how just one person in the same room as you helps... you don't even need to talk just be there.