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I was viciously hit by my father when I was a child. Instead of making me a better person, my early abusive treatment created an anxiety ridden, fearful, rage-filled man. As a result of my childhood experiences, I came to believe that not only is corporal punishment of a child wrong and cruel, but counterproductive as well. Those who exhibit a "spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy are a major reason why our world is such a messed up and violent place. Anyone disagree with me?

Rob48 7 Sep 12
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0

Agree. I have my own story, which I'll save for another time.

Ok, I'll tell some of the story.

The beatings were delivered by my father, daily, on instructions from my mother, when my father came home from work. She tallied our misbehaviors (mine & my little brother) and assigned the punishments. My father would take off his leather belt and snap it in a way that's difficult to describe. The beatings were on our bare "bottoms".

There never seemed to be any way to avoid these beatings. However, at some point, my father started coming home later and drunker, and the beatings stopped. There's some reason to believe that my father resented the duty and started his after-work drinking because of it.

There never was any reason given for why the beatings ceased. That might be why I always fear punishment without any warning or reason.

For some reason I've never been violent, but my younger brother has. Oh well.

2

Spanking or hitting kids teaches them that violence and pain is a solution. And it's a lazy form of discipline. Have I gotten really angry with my 9 year old? Yes. I've never hit her.

Also I'm a giant man and she's tiny. Who does that?

2

I think using violence on a child teaches them that violence is a solution. I was hit on occasion but the emotional abuse was worse. Would be wonderful if people refrained from having children they are not prepared to properly care for.

1

My mother beat me until the day she died.

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My parents weren't religious, it was just the "prevailing wisdom" in the 50'/60'ss . However, the leather end of the belt would have been better than the buckle end, methinks......

2

I'm old school here and did spank my daughter on two separate occasions but I have to say I really wasn't really angry on either occasion and it wasn't viciously. She often said that she would rather be spanked by her dad than nagged by her mom. During my first marriage I did spank my son on numerous occasions because I believed it was correct according to the Bible so consequently it was more to what you allude to and for those occurrences I am truly sorry and wish they had never happened. I don't think I ever viciously hit either child but on nearly every instance with my son things could have been worked out better by other means of discipline. I lost my son due to my leaving the religion and him remaining but I don't think the spankings had anything to do with it. I'm sure he did the same with his own boys. My daughter and I are very close and sometimes joke about the discipline as in both instance it was for things where she put herself and others in danger. I doubt she will herself use spankings if she has kids herself and I will certainly respect her choice. Sorry for rambling but I just wanted to make the point that not everyone that has used corporal punishment have had the terrible experiences that you have and I am truly sorry that you had to endure the consequences of your father's misapplied seeming abuse.

gearl Level 8 Sep 12, 2019
4

I'm so sorry. It was not your fault. Your father's violent abuse was horrific and cruel.

Hitting, spanking and slapping teaches children to use violence to solve problems.

My parents never spanked us four kids. "I don't want to hear another peep out of you!" Dad called through our bedroom doors. "Peep! Peep! Peep!" we replied, giggling. We heard Dad laughing through the door. We felt safe.

Terry and I never spanked our daughter Claire. Instead we used age-appropriate timeouts, grounding and suspending privileges (cell phone, sleepovers, driving, events, etc.)

We taught Clare self-responsibility and respectful negotiation skills.

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