Agnostic.com

13 3

Why do much older people seek romantic courtship with much younger people? I rarely get hit on by people in my own age group, but I receive messages daily by people my father and grandfather's age?

I don't mind making lots of friends with people of all ages but I'm curious why the only ones interested in a relationship with me are so much older.

LadyAlyxandrea 8 Mar 26
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

13 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

I can't answer that. All I know is that I'm interested in the person, not the age.

1

Because men don't understand they think they picked the girl
but the girl picked the man almost 95% of the time.

dc65 Level 7 Mar 27, 2018
0

For my part, I still harbor the hope of having children. My wife and I were not able to do so... and... well, I KNOW that I am a bit old to even consider that, but I still want it to be an option. Thus, I search for women between 35-40. I am NOT looking for a daughter, or some sort of fantasy/trophy wife. I am looking for a partner but I also want to have a family and, for me, family means kids.

So far, the reactions seem to say this means I am a terrible person but, I am who I am, I wants what I wants, and I don't see any reason to not try. Reach for that brass ring and... who knows? 🙂

Is it a desire to spread your genetic material or is adoption not an option? There are so many kids alive right now desperate for a father

@LadyAlyxandrea There is a LOT behind that question! More, I suspect, than you think.

The short(er) answer is both are acceptable but I do want my first child to be MY child. (Reasons in private.) After that, or, to be honest with the right gal, I am ok with adoption, surrogacy. Whatever she and I are comfortable with.

I won't deny that spreading my DNA is part of the hubris of this. However, it's more important to me to be what my father wasn't. I want to play catch with my kids (more than once in our lives). I want to be there to help with their studies. I want to watch them, encourage them, in whatever sport/activity they choose. There WILL be Aikido! There WILL be board games... as I also want a built in gaming group (muahahaha).

But the fact is I want more than to just have instant family, "just add water!" I want to be there to help her with the pregnancy to the best of my ability. Back/foot rubs. Pickle flavored ice cream, peanut butter, whatever. Then be the one to wake up in the middle of the night for changes/feedings. I KNOW it will be frustrating for both of us and I want to experience that part too... I want the whole bag of kittens and I want to herd said kittens. 🙂

Yeah, maybe not for the right reasons: I didn't get this from my dad (he was apparently awesome when we were very young but just sort of faded away as I grew into my teens, always busy with work, and finally the divorce and he left for two years)... so, am I wrong to want to give that experience to a young someone?

@Gnarloc I wouldn't say it's wrong at all. In fact it was rather beautifully put in a way that didn't leave any wiggle room for disapproval lol. I can't say I don't wish you all the luck in finding that. There are plenty of women, too, that really are attracted to distinguished older men.

My issue is the rather uncomfortable ones, that seem more pushy and obsessive. The ones that get angry that a younger woman isn't interested in pursuing a relationship with such a large age gap. The ones that hit on me give me an uncomfortable feeling, not simply because of age. I'm not unflattered by older men being attracted to me, but the number of them is also kind of depressing when I have not gotten a single one my age lol.

I've always had that problem too, so I wondered why?

Oh well lol

Hmm... for my part, I am not attracted to just any old pretty skirt (oh, I will look, but I won't pursue)... I have met a few that I have to describe as "old souls." People I can talk to about just about anything and they can and will keep up. Not flirting, just interesting and interested in listening, as well as talking.

Hard to walk away but you have to if the age difference is less a gap and more a gulf... 😟

1

Maybe they are trying to recapture something in their youth, thinking that will give them more pep. I have twin 19 y.o. daughters, I could never date someone that is not in my age group, 42 y.o. is basically the youngest I am willing to go. 50+ is absolutely perfect.

1

The older I get the more I get attracted to older men, but older as in relevance to my own age.

0

I went through a faze where I dated younger woman. It made me feel young at least for a little while. I’m glad I’m past that.

1

Mid-life crisis. Men my age like to think we still got it. Dad bod or not!

I do not mind dad bod lol I mind MY dad bod

0

Cuz all men are secret pedophiles even if they deny it. Dark secrets from the darkest corners of the earth. I've seen some of the most horrific things and know some of the most crippling things that get covered up on a daily basis. Humans are disgusting creatures...but I still try to see the beauty in everything.

Some people come in your life that completely change your entire perception.

I am insanely offended by that statement.

@LadyAlyxandrea it is what it is. Sorry not sorry. Human nature is disgusting

@sadoslim well you're wrong about that. If you're a secret pedophile then you need to seek therapy, but not all men are pedophiles just because you think so.

1

Older men are trying to keep hold of or recapture their youth. We are rejuvenated by the energy of the young and it reminds us that we are still capable of contributions and sharing wisdom collected over a lifetime. I learned many life lessons the hard way and while they are lessons embedded in me, I consider it a societal duty to share as much as I can and help others to learn those lessons without having it be a hard lesson.

1

Genetics men are programmed to look for the fittest and healthiest mates . You'd think after all this time we would have outgrown our basic instincts but hey men are slow learners

Well by all means I am definitely not in those categories LOL there are 80 year olds healthier than I am

Genetics is a basic instinct and one that can not be 'outgrown'. Out DNA has been evolving for a millennium to get where it is and it will take another for a change like that to occur.

1

"Arm Candy" comes to mind.

1

Of course, I can't speak for everyone, but it could be just a matter of physical attraction, or some people (men in this case) are emotionally underdeveloped and feel more comfortable with a younger woman. If the guy is ONLY seeking a much younger woman, it's probably more of a physical thing because the person who vibes best with you might just be someone or age or not.

2

I guess the obvious is they think younger women are more virile. Older men are a little in denial when it comes to stamina. Maybe they feel they will regain it more if they are with a younger woman.

I hear there are some amazing breakthroughs in medicine to help with that lol!

My grandpa even had a titanium crank penis implant (the only reason I know this is the crematorium called and asked if I wanted it back.. NO THANKS)

@AMGT science works up to a point. the titanium implant is interesting though

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:43775
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.