I listened to a lecture by Alan Watts on love just a little while ago. It was incredibly thought provoking to me because I hadn't ever been introduced to the concept of love as he defined it. He states that love cannot be commanded, as it cannot be contrived. So the commandment to "love thy neighbor" and "love the lord thy god" is nonsensical. No matter how hard you try to love, you'll never feel it truly coming from the depths of your being. Love is a thing we fall into, not something we are commanded into.
I never thought that I would be in the position of defending the bible. But while it is true that you can not create love, it is still possible to uncreate the artificial barriers, which you put up to limit the range of your natural propensity for love.
Having said that, it may also be true that we only have a limited capacity for love, and when it is used up that is it. Which explains perhaps why religious people who claim highly altruistic ideals, often seem to be the meanest of people. Because they are encouraged to give the maximum of themselves when within the congregation, and there is little left of the rest of the world outside.