I read her book Crazy Love and just found this TED talk. Recently a FB friend found herself in a verbally abusive relationship and left. She couch-surfed. I offered to assist her to get her stuff and move into a safe place. It took several months. She seems good now.

My late former partner was with an abusive man long before I met her and she had to go to a shelter.

This TED talk focuses on the question, “Why don’t you leave him?” I think it is better at some point in the conversation about the abuse — if one gets there — to ask “What do you tell yourself about the reason you stay?” Rescue dynamics seem to be prevalent in the narratives about relationships. What do you think? [ted.com]