Good morning Guys & Gals, Boys & Girls.
As you know, church goers are at risk of spreading the coronavirus. Well, I suggest we step in. I purpose a solution to calm their fears.

“There’s an app for that.” What do you say we create an app that allows the congregation to stay at home and watch the comedy show on their computer?

But how will the church make money, because, after all, that’s the reason they exist? When they log in for the “show” the congregation will be required to pay their “offering” through our app. Of course, we’ll take a percentage. And because the church isn’t required to pay taxes on their profit, neither will we.

For the catholics we can provide some one on one for confessions that we, where appropriate, black mail the confessor.

[thehill.com]