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Another try at online dating another reminder why I fucking gave this up. Guess that is going to be one SHORT trial Ignorance...doing things the same way and expecting a different result. I am guilty!

Larimar 7 Mar 28
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1

I'm afraid I start with the idea that any man who is single and not a widower is automatically suspect. Sure, there are a few men who are single because their wife was a real rip, but the stats tend to lean the other direction, and most of the men I have encountered who blame their ex wives for the failed marriage turned out to be lying.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 11, 2020

I'm a widower

@bobwjr They should be lined up then!

0

I'm actually great alone. I value it to the point that it really doesn't take much evidence of someone showing abusive behaviors of any kind for me to just cut the cord. I'll point it out once and second time...buh bye!

3

Close relationships are, after a brief and glorious period of hope, an invitation to more drama and conflict -- hopefully with moments of transcendence, but even that is not assured. I have yet to see a case of either couples or parents / children where this is not the case, or where it isn't papered over with some sort of dysfunction or power inequality. The peaceful relationships invariably rely on the weaker party to cave to the stronger and subsume their needs for the sake of the peace. Once in awhile this is fine, but in most relationships, it becomes one-sided in a hurry around any one issue.

It is the nature of being human. Even where "love" is in play, it is always a struggle for dominance. It takes most of us a lifetime to figure that out -- in part because we don't want the clarity of vision to see this need in ourselves to get what we need, too.

I've had to learn to not be consumed by the loneliness of bad relationships. Once you sort that out, garden variety loneliness is literally nothing. You aren't the first, and won't be the last person to be seduced by the Fear Of Missing Out, only to find that, yet again, what you were trying to obtain was illusory.

Had to give you that ‘heart-eyes’ emoji, cuz it’s the highest we’ve got. ‘That’s’ a serious reason why I come here… Wisdom, from people who likely began acquiring it from day one.

If it weren’t for fleeting love and that inherent sex drive ...we’d be extinct. Anymore, I just stand back and watch (been there, done that)..

1

Thank you for the reminder, I almost forgot the reality of dating sites. Better cool my jets.

2

There's nothing wrong with having a little hope. The fault lies with them, not you.

3

Online dating is the worst. 😔

3

Welcome to the Club!

Varn Level 8 Mar 28, 2020
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