I never dated until my forties. I just had relationships. Embarking on the online dating adventure later in life certainly has challenges.

I always joke with my students that the key to happiness is lowered expectations. I am partly joking, but I think it helps with online dating to chat extensively (or as much as I need to to feel comfortable) with the person, keep expectations at a minimum, and meet with them casually in person as soon as possible. I usually pick a casual setting (there's a local bar/coffee shop I love) and go from there.

Most dates don't go anywhere. I've learned to expect that. And if I get tired or discouraged, I take a little break from it.

Good question. As a lifelong optimist, I spring back from disappointments and learn from experience. Resiliance and a good sense of humor helps. Also, I enjoy meeting people.

After multiple, disappointing let-downs, I learned not to get all twitter-pated over a man before meeting. Apart from getting my late mother loaded on White Russians, the best and quickest way to ruin the fun and good times is to load them up with expectation in advance.

Quickly meeting many men was a jarring experience. Seventy-five percent pushed for sex on the first date. Now I feel surprised when a man looks like his photos. With online dating, studies show 82% of people post old photos and lie about their age, weight and/or height. It was shocking.

So, instead of meeting four different guys, I decided to spend more time with one man once he met my basic screening:

Intelligent, healthy, good sense of humor, well-groomed, good manners, respectful, fun, athletic and also loves hiking. I found educated men are often better conversationalists.

By spending more time together, I get to the person and we continue building rapport. Now I feel much better. In my 20s, I learned dating more than one person at a time is a crazy-making experience for all involved.

In most cases, people’s unique traits and values are difficult to recognize, let alone appreciate, in an initial encounter. There are just too many things going through our minds to fully take in what makes that person special and interesting.

I don't. I haven't dated in so many years I've forgotten how long it's been. Before that, I finally decided that dating of any kind sucks, so here I am...

I don't have a lot of expectations. Meeting compatible people is pretty random in any venue"

Honestly, most dating, online or off pretty much sucks. It's kind of the nature of the beast. It's how we figure out if a person is worth our time or not. Most people I know in lasting relationships didn't really date much before getting together. Most of them were friends first who met through mutual interest groups or through mutual friends. When you share interests and are friends first, you both become a lot more concerned about doing things that would hurt the other. Dating becomes more fun because you like similar things. Life with a partner becomes a lot less dramatic in negative ways. I'm not sure a person can do that online to be honest.

What I do is read some of my emails from abraham-hicks.com about the Law of Attraction.
Then I try to focus on what IS working, and not what isn't working. I don't always pull it off, but when I look at my daily gratitude list or go for a walk or dance even by myself, I turn some negatives to positives. Moreah

How do you maintain enthusiasm for life, when most experiences tend to be negative?