Ironically, there is not a single book in the bible that can be proven to have been written by the namesake. Outside of the Orthodox and Catholic church whose authority says it was the case. But in that sense, how much can the integrity even be trusted? Especially since both those churches are Romanic churches.

When you know its ending, in your heart, will you remain true to your lack of belief?

There is a story, the family denies but the priest who heard his confession swears to... that Wallace Steven, the quintessential american poet, converted from life long atheism on his deathbed,

Well this is not really a problem for Christians as they just use it as an indication that god did turn his back on Jesus because Jesus was in that moment bearing the approbation of god because the sins of the world were upon him. It was, to them, not a cry of surprise, but of spiritual agony.

You always come out on the losing end of any such attempt to debunk something like this because, trust me, they've had 2,000 years to rationalize it away. They'll just claim you don't understand / couldn't possibly understand because you don't love Jesus and don't understand his word because the holy spirit isn't presiding over your understanding, etc.

Maddening, I know. But true.