So heres a question. I'm currently staying with my 75 year old father, who being a product of his generation and somewhat stuck in his ways, has an element of racism. I have been trying to update his thinking, with some success (I should mention that in all other respects he is a good man, and the racism was never overt) He does, however, insist on referring to anyone not of white British origin as 'our friends from abroad'. My question is, do people think this is an acceptable phrase?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I am 'white' but not of British origin so am I included in, "our friends from abroad'? If so it doesn't sound racist to me.
PickledRick
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
1
Once it was established that you are not of British origin, you would indeed be a friend from abroad.
I suspect that there may be cultural differences between the UK and the US, but I'm sure that none of my friends who are people of color - and whose families have been in the US for hundreds of years -- would take kindly to the phrase.
ladyprof70
Level 7
Apr 21, 2018
1
Why would a statement like "our friends from abroad" mean anything bad? All you're doing is polluting language with woo-woo about mind-reading and other nonsense.
Also, what is this mentally ill obsession with what other people think? Find something that is actually worth doing.
DZhukovin
Level 7
Apr 21, 2018
0
If you want to talk about mentally ill, i can go there and talk your ears off. Also, wtf is woo-woo, and what did my post have to do with mind reading? I was asking a serious question, given that a) i currently live in a very multi-cultural area, and i don't want my dad beaten up , and b) I'm of an age myself where I'm not entirely sure what is acceptable and what is not. When what other people 'think' can lead to being stabbed, it seems like a reasonable question.
I've found something that is worth doing, thank you, but I don't do it 24/7, and my few interactions with other people are mostly on the Internet. Whats your excuse?
Okay, so you're talking in a normative context. Shouldn't you then teach your Dad about the different races? It's not like it's going to lead to racist conclusions.
Not really, i was not looking for normative so much as an assessment/opinion/evaluation of what is or is not acceptable. As i said, i have been trying, with some success, to update his way of thinking. He doesnt need teaching about different races, just appropriate ways to refer to people different from himself, and to rid himself of some of his preconceptions and clichéd ideas.
It is way better than the things people on this side of the pond say, way, way better. Any growth is better than no growth. He doesn't sound hateful.
Sticks48
Level 9
Apr 21, 2018
2
He isn't, more old fashioned and stuck in his ways. Nothing like trying to teach an old dog new tricks.....
@Davethecrow Us old dogs can get set on our ways. ?
This is a far better phrase than some of the alternatives. It's almost cute & friendly.
Also - I can totally relate with your situation!!
scurry
Level 9
Apr 21, 2018
1
I like the almost, i feel like you know where I'm coming from
@Davethecrow In deed I do. 
Been there... still doing that. ?
Depends on how used .. My Nan (103yr old) uses phrase Darkies.. Very offensive to most peopel my age. She and grandad had tons, and I mean tons of friends in 1930's on in UK who came from Africa or Carribean.. Just diffferent language.. It was never a thing to them.
Progression is slow ..
sometimes it's just generational langaue barriers and the old uns are to us ignorant!
In the same way they might not understand depression !!! Lots of old folk look at you confused and laugh if you say someone is depressed. They just aren't so complex..I had to educate my Nan recently on Trump and Farage though .. she has always been labour UK but she was slipping .. it's tough out there --- suppose that is progression.
Nickbeee
Level 8
Apr 21, 2018
3
It's hard to change the opinions of people set in their ways. My family came from the southern United States where racism is prevalent. I love them, they are flawed, as we all are, but good people overall. I've learned to love them for the good and not hate them for the bad.
AdorkableMe
Level 7
Apr 21, 2018
3
Does he know that they are from abroad? Or do they just have brown skin? If the latter they may well be from the UK anyway. But it sounds like you've made some real headway and from a gint his age I guess it's quite polite really ( 
)
girlwithsmiles
Level 8
Apr 21, 2018
1
Its multicultural, if he's aware of someone being 'foreign' , be it by appearance (not always a reliable indicator) culture or speech.
@Davethecrow ah, meant for a gent his age. Sounds like you've done quite well with him, it depends on your momentum and if it will start to damage your relationship how far you want to take it I think.
Choose your battles wisely. This seems like a non-issue to me. Hope this helps.
IAMGROOT
Level 7
Apr 21, 2018
9
Agreed...not a hill to die on as my boss always says.
Indeed .. language and labels were just different then.. My Nan and Grandad had plenty Friends in Nottingham UK in 1930's onward who came from Africa or Carribean.. They would say they are "darkies", To them it wasn't a thing or their friends.. If someone said that now it would be a race relations case lol. Just different language .. It wasn't a thing in 1930 and it isn't now for some. I have tried to educate mine same way in some stuff!! tough lol
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