Some people don't think about sex much. Its more routine than spontaneous. Its a gift that we were given. It provides pleasure just as other forms of pleasure do. How does one get to a point where sex becomes meaningless or deprived of pleasure sensations. I know people even at 90 who are enjoying it.
I've learned over the past few years that identifying as simply asexual to most people means NO SEX.
I guess that is a reasonable assumption if you presume human sexuality is cut and dry. I'm on the autistic spectrum so accidently taking things literally isn't that uncommon a problem in my relationships.
I'm Demisexual, a person who never finds themselves motivated towards physical intimacy until intellectual/emotional intimacy bonds develop.
The last time this topic came up, the person immediately stated they would need to feel free to have other partners.
They showed no interest exploring what asexuality meant for me, much less what that meant in the context of the buding relationship.
In my day to day exchanges with people, sexuality isn't a thing for me. I see whether someone is physically attractive but it has no visceral impact on me. This is something most people find incomprehensible.
I'm not turned off by sex in any form I'm aware of. It simply doesn't dominate my consciousness, influence my judgement the way it obviously does for so many others.
In my case, my last partner became abusive—covert narcissist. One day, he just announced that he wasn’t having any more sex: that he had decided to put his energy into other things. Never touched me again.
I had done nothing wrong, but it crushed me. I did leave him a few years later due to the verbal/emotional abuse. I wish I DID NOT love him! One bad partner can ruin a person’s trust. I can’t have good sex without trust. I can enjoy it physically, but it’s not satisfying or joyful.