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Some people don't think about sex much. Its more routine than spontaneous. Its a gift that we were given. It provides pleasure just as other forms of pleasure do. How does one get to a point where sex becomes meaningless or deprived of pleasure sensations. I know people even at 90 who are enjoying it.

lbusche 7 Apr 21

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My mind thinks about sex a lot more than my body does. It’s been so long.


It's a touchy subject. Some don't like getting touched.

jeffy Level 7 Apr 22, 2018

Eeeee I'd rather have a cup of tea


I've learned over the past few years that identifying as simply asexual to most people means NO SEX.

I guess that is a reasonable assumption if you presume human sexuality is cut and dry. I'm on the autistic spectrum so accidently taking things literally isn't that uncommon a problem in my relationships.

I'm Demisexual, a person who never finds themselves motivated towards physical intimacy until intellectual/emotional intimacy bonds develop.

The last time this topic came up, the person immediately stated they would need to feel free to have other partners.

They showed no interest exploring what asexuality meant for me, much less what that meant in the context of the buding relationship.

In my day to day exchanges with people, sexuality isn't a thing for me. I see whether someone is physically attractive but it has no visceral impact on me. This is something most people find incomprehensible.

I'm not turned off by sex in any form I'm aware of. It simply doesn't dominate my consciousness, influence my judgement the way it obviously does for so many others.


In my case, my last partner became abusive—covert narcissist. One day, he just announced that he wasn’t having any more sex: that he had decided to put his energy into other things. Never touched me again.
I had done nothing wrong, but it crushed me. I did leave him a few years later due to the verbal/emotional abuse. I wish I DID NOT love him! One bad partner can ruin a person’s trust. I can’t have good sex without trust. I can enjoy it physically, but it’s not satisfying or joyful.


IMO, there is no normal, right or wrong about thinking, enjoying or performing sex. Who cares about how people find pleasure as long as it's about one (or two) consenting adults and it doesn't harm anyone? And if people don't derive pleasure from doing an activity, then, of course, they wouldn't do it. Why care about that any more than whether someone enjoys and gains pleasure from eating chocolate cake?


Who gave you the gift?


Seriously i don't know but I have been partaking in it since my teens and have never found It boring, mundane, tedious, irrelevant, etc. Is there such a thing as a sex coefficient or sex threshold.

@Lbusche Maybe you got something there

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