So sorry to hear of your dreadful familial experiences. I have had a family member convert to Christianity from atheism. I handle this by limiting my discussion on the subject. They live many miles away however. My situation sounds much simpler than yours. I wish you the best.

That is one tough spot, I am sure there will be some good advise here. We are here for you. You can always say "you'll consider it", until you are away from the religious group. As for your marriage, take care of you first and be safe. Good luck

Tough situation. It sucks you have to go through this.

So I get the desire to placate the relatives to get them to leave you alone. And yeah, you can't lie about it, even though it'd be easier (and then they'd hate you for lying when they find out, go figure). But you can be evasive. Tell your mother that you're carrying out God's plan and that you can't understand it. Is it lying? It's really framing your experience within her viewpoint. Remember that your mother believes that God has a plan and that everything is set in motion. Atheists are part of God's plans, though Christians with weak faiths refuse to believe it. Tell her that you'll go to church when God deems it's time. Tell her that her comfort is more pressing right now, and that you will convert when it's time (technically not a lie since it'll never be time).

Dealing with the family will be tricky. Right now they're angry at you because you took a route that is inconceivable to them. Just like you can't conceive returning to that faith, they can't conceive why anybody would leave. You can try telling them about how you're just living out God's plan, but they sound like they may be pushy about it (funny how God's plan isn't good enough if it doesn't fit their narrative). Point out that you're not going to lie, and they shouldn't pressure you into breaking one of the Ten Commandments.

Ideally, you probably should leave, but since you're asking about this, I'm sure it's not an appealing option. So do what you can and avoid the rest of the family where possible. Don't even talk theology with them. Just remind them that God has a plan and that they shouldn't try to usurp God's will. Someone crafty might try to justify that it's God's will that he convert you. Just hope nobody gets any bright ideas.

It's weird; I had a somewhat similar situation but nowhere near as bad as yours. I had not seen my super-religious grandmother since 1990. I received enough haranguing over phone calls and letters that I had no desire to fly back out there. I don't even remember when she passed except that it was after my mother's death in 2010. Walking away is not always easy, especially since you'll be walking away from someone you've known (and even cherished) all your life. I deal with guilt probably better than most people, so I was able to walk away from this, but I imagine some part of her final days might have been worry about me going to Hell.

I wish there was an easy answer for you. I just hope we've given you something to think on.

Sorry for your situation. Dealing with aging and infirm parents is always difficult.
I cannot offer any advice that you'd be likely to take. I'm a bull in a china shop, and
while I wouldn't want to upset my parents, I'd be telling ALL of the rest of the family
to stuff their religion, and their opinions. Most people don't feel they can do that. I get it.
I don't subscribe to the notion that just because people may share your DNA, they are
your family. I'm one of those people who will tell anyone coming at me sideways with
their religious beliefs, exactly where they can go and exactly what they can do to themselves
when they arrive.
Please know you can come here for respite and understanding. Who knows? You might
even find a much needed laugh from time to time.

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

My family outed me except my aunt snd uncle. Hang in there, and welcome to the community. ?

Wish there was a God to help you out.....

That sounds like a really hard situation. you have all my sympathy. I think you can only tell them that you don't agree with them and you are not going to argue because it leads to upset. This is not a time to get into rows. If they tell you that you are bad and going to hell, just tell them you are sorry they feel that way and try to show love, not hate.

Hmmm.... its aways hard to explain to one sided simple people. It overwhelms them that your not like them. Just tell them to leave you alone and quit bothering you about this. Your not going to make friends with them because they have been programed to save you. Its all about fear and money and control. Its been this way forever. Or you can tell them to go read the history books and notice how the church killed people and stole thier land in the name of god.

I made it clear to my family early on that I would NOT discuss religion in any shape, way, form or fashion with them. I told the if they started such a conversation, I would walk away. After a couple abrupt departures, they realized I was serious. In this fashion we were able to communicate, speak, banter, etc. but it never became any kind of argument about God or Christ or The Bible, which surely would have ended with harsh words or more.

Hi Danielle,
I just noticed this post and thought I would comment. The hardest part of living is waiting to die. In your situation, it must be difficult to cope with such a religious family. Their belief is what matters the most in their final moments before they leave us. You can tell them what they want to hear before they pass and for those who remain, be truthful and honest about who you really are. Family isn't always about blood but when the end is near comfort them. I hope all is well.