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Best way to tell a man that I don't want kids?

Carla_Jones 5 Apr 28
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19 comments

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1

It's very complicated, but with some tact can be achieved. Try this approach: Sit him down and say "I don't want kids." Boom. Done.

2

Directly.

1

The best time to tell him is in a chat, text, DM or phone conversation way before you meet him face to face. Just tell him No Kids, this is one of your deal breakers and it's not up for negotiation. If you have already met him then the message is the same then see where it goes from there.

3

Do they sell vasectomy gift cards?
If they do, then a prepaid vasectomy should make things clear for him.

Some places do sell those gift cards. When I had my vasectomy a few years ago the place I ended up going did sell them! And guys should shop around for pricing - There was a huge range in prices for the procedure.

Hysterical

@Ohub When I had my vasectomy, aged 35, the Roman Catholic church paid most of the cost. All I paid was the equivalent of a bottle of beer!
Not many people can say that the Pope paid for their vasectomy!!

@Ohub, @Trixie2You ... Didn't you mean "Hysterectomy"?
Then you don't have to say anything to any potential partner.

Good to see you

1

For me I would try and tell them early on in the relationship. Around the point you both start talking about actually dating. Not on like first date but around the time you could actually see yourself dating them.

oh and don't beat around the bush. straight up tell them no kids

3

I told my ex very early, we were married on the condition of no kids. 7 years later, and then again a year after that. My kids are the best thing about my life.

0

As somebody who is happily married for 20 years, and was fully honest with my wife up front before we even got engaged, I can tell you from experience the best way to do it is to say simply, "I don't want kids, and I hope you don't either"... I think I was even more blunt. I told her that I just plain and simple don't like kids.

She agreed fully. Neither one of us wanted kids and it was the best decision we ever made!

0

I agree with so many of the comments that say 'just tell him'. It seems that you have a feeling that your answer is going to negatively affect your relationship. You're probably right. But as a relationship begins to get serious there are a number of important issues of values that need to be discussed. Having a child changes your life forever -- period. Don't let someone pressure you to sacrifice your values. Anyone who wants to do that to you doesn't care as much as about you as you deserve.

3

Uhhh......"I don't want kids". Pretty simple and straightforward.

0

Life is full of choices and different roads and this is the road I've taken. It allows me to do things and have the choice of life decisions that I prefer and desire. As most people have said just be upfront. If it's deal breaker so be it.

2

Tell them to listen to Doug Stanhope act on kids.

0

Tell him you don't want kids, that's what I say.

0

I want to remain financially stable and be able to up sticks when ever I wish .[ 2 things you'll find you can't do should you have kids]

0

I would add my vote to the others that say just tell him. I have noticed a societal pressure to view children as the ultimate expression of family, and to combat that the one piece of advice I always give at weddings is that children will never complete a family. They will add to a family that is already complete, but they can’t complete it if it’s not. That being said, if one party wants children and the other does not, statistically that relationship has an expiration date.

0

I don't know when the best time to tell someone that you don't want to have kids, but when you do just tell them. You can tell them why if it helps the situation, but not everyone wants kids so if you are with a guy that loves you as a person he should respect your wants. He may not want to marry you at that point, but he should not get bent out shape. So, I guess to clarify the first sentence, you should probably tell him before it gets serious enough that the idea of a proposal is not out of the question, and sometime past the first few dates.

3

You could try saying "I don't want kids".
Just an idea. I'm winging it here.

LOL

0

Straight up! It's your preference.

1

Just like that. Simple, direct and declaritve. The time you spend with the wrong guy because not mentioning it, is the time you could be spending meeting the right one.

1

Im moving all the way to the top and i want nothing to stop me...

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