Hi I was raised roman catholic and never understood the fear and guilt that the church used. Goes contrary to being benevolent as they espouse to be.

I was a doubter in catholic high school. And after high school on of my older brothers best friends brougbt charges against our ccd priest
The church transferred that priest, the teen committed suicide and finally that priest was charged and put in jail finally.
Its more the coverimg up that drove me off

Thats when i.knew iwas done with the church

Used to have a nightmare even as a teen where whatever the plot was, things will start to pick up speed to a point where I was desperate to wake up but I just couldn't move a finger. The weirdest part of it all, I was aware of my surroundings, I could hear or tell if anyone else was nearby and still could not snap out of it. The level of anxiety would hit the roof in a heartbeat because I felt as if I was dead. The worst part of all, I would know when it was about to happen so I would suffer it because I could not stop it. Eventually I would wake up ok. Not sure when or why did stop. Don't even know why it happened in the first place. Long time ago anyway.....

I once had a dream about a load of people shaving horses in a river. They were making a bad job of it; and the water was flowing red. I wanted them to stop, but I was told that the people had to learn how to shave. (I wrote a poem about it and it was published in an anthology to raise money for animal rights, but as I was a student at the time I could afford to buy a copy!)

I still have the occasional going to hell nightmare usually about stupid shit like I jerked off one to many times and had children out of wedlock, or my terrible potty mouth. But at least growing up Catholic I always figured most normal people would be shooting for purgatory anyway.

As a kid, I used to frequently have terrifying nightmares -- the kind of stuff that would make even today's horror movies look like a walk in the park. It got to the point that I would try to avoid going to sleep altogether, because I was so scared.

One night, something really bad was about to happen in a dream, and I just remember shouting "NO" or "STOP", and it caused everything to freeze -- like, full-on CGI movie effect freeze... everything just stopped, and I was still standing there, looking around. It freaked me out and I woke up... but the more I thought about it, I figured "well, if all of this is only going on inside my head... why can't I control it? It's my head." So I kept working on it whenever I would dream, until I was able to completely control anything and everything that was going on.

I haven't had another nightmare since -- if things even remotely start to turn dark, I just completely change what's happening... I can tweak, stop, start, alter... it's like the Matrix, only a lot cooler and a lot more realistic. Decades later, I found out this is actually called "lucid dreaming"... but up to that point, I was pretty sure I had superpowers or something. =)

This is extraordinary and heart wrenching. I’m so sorry you had to endure these dreams and I hope you find some comfort in sharing your story.
When I was 5 years old my family lived near an air force base. F-15 fighter jets would frequently fly directly over our house all hours day and night. When I would hear the jets approaching in my sleep, I would dream that the earth was falling away towards me into hell because the rapture had already occurred. In my mind, my family was already taken to god and I was left behind to fall to hell in my bed. It was brutal.

I had a few episodes of sleep paralysis growing up. That was terrifying!

Poor baby...thats tough. My wife has bad dreams and i wake her out of them. Shes had a rough time. Not today though.