The Jerks Among Us

Most people don’t like everyone and think some are jerks. But people think others are jerks for different reasons. There isn’t universal agreement as to what makes another person a jerk. Presumably if everyone were to agree on what being a jerk meant and agreed being that way was bad even jerks would want to change. To suppose it bad being some way is to think it’d be better being another. But so long as change is thought impossible it is what it is. Even if a person imagines it’d be nice being somehow different none are motivated to attempt the impossible. If people can’t choose what would make them happy and none imagine how some getting whatever that is might be possible without being jerks then while all might wish it were otherwise even the jerks among us couldn’t really be blamed. Were roles reversed all would imagine they’d have done the same. To insist on doing things ways that would make others worse off through no fault of their own is not to care about them. But if the rest of civilized society shouldn’t care about jerks then the jerks shouldn’t care about the rest of society. In that case, who are the jerks?

If for all to be happy would require the same thing being different ways some must be unhappy. If even one must be unhappy for everyone else to be happy things have to suck for at least one person. It’d seem natural to suppose if there’s only one contrary individual that must be the jerk. But by that same logic the outnumbered are always the jerks. If insisting on what would make another miserable is a jerk thing to do and there’s nothing one might insist on that wouldn’t make at least one other person miserable then to insist itself is what makes the jerk.

The only way not to be a jerk would be to insist on nothing. Suppose a person were to insist on nothing. However crude or obnoxious that person may otherwise be the one thing that person couldn’t be is a jerk. Whatever that person does the jerks would be those insisting it was wrong. Then if all were to resolve to insist on nothing all might live in a jerk free world. Yet paradoxically that itself must be something none insist on.