In religious communities, the socially expected condolences and encouragements in times of grief and illness is something like “You’ll be in my prayers.” What suggestions do you have for alternative expressions that atheists/agnostics might appropriately use in these communities to show genuine concern and sympathy?
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For me, it would depend on what I understood of the person. A hug or two might also be appropriate, as already suggested by @mzee, @michelle666gar and @Betty. Also, listen to what the person cares to say, but do not feel impelled to say anything in return as a look of sympathy may be quite sufficient for the moment.
anglophone
Level 9
Mar 29, 2024
3
Expressions are a broad subject.
Apart from the excellent contributions noting deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolence.
Given it's "genuine concern" from godless heathens for those in "religious communities", I'd probably start with an ejaculation of surprise like "Oh no".
"Wally sorry to hear you fell asleep only to wake several years later to ask a question here at easter but hey resurrections are trending".
You'll be in my thoughts.
Polemicist
Level 7
Mar 29, 2024
3
I do not think there is or should be anything. What you should say is something unique and appropriate, to the person you are addressing and the person you are speaking of. The Christians "prayers" line is just an easy lazy get out, which merely shows that they don't really care or think.
If you can not think of something special to say, then it is perhaps better just to be silent and offer your support by just being there.
Fernapple
Level 9
Mar 29, 2024
9
Tell them how you felt about the person and say so sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences and give them a hug. I recently went to a rosary for a lady who would take my classes and she passed away suddenly, I knew her and her husband since 2008 and they were both such a sweet couple. I couldn't believe she passed away, I cried by myself. Her rosary was beautiful but I left in the middle of saying the prayers of the rosary, I couldn't handle that.
michelle666gar
Level 8
Mar 29, 2024
7
I'm so sorry for your loss, Michelle, that must have been such a shock. Her husband must have been touched that you went.
@Lauren A few of us who take my classes showed up, we all pitched in a flower arrangement at the rosary and we all signed a sympathy card. Everyday I give him one of my bottles of water because I remember him and his wife would share the same water bottle, figured it was her who made sure they had water. It was very sad, they both have been attending my classes since 2008. It's good to see him in my classes and he's always talking about her and how he feels alone but coming to class helps him.
@michelle666gar Wow, that's such a long time! Your continuity in his life after such upheaval must count a lot in helping him to process his grief. I'm glad he has you.
@Lauren He has all of us, I consider my participants for each of my classes as extended family. We're all there for each other and since they're elderly plus retired, this might be the only time they get out of the house. I know 80% of the reasons they go is just for the socialization, I let them say jokes, talk and we just have fun during the class time, I love what I do and each participant has a special place in my heart.
So sorry he is gone, and then if you can tell a cute/funny/SHORT anecdote about them.
annewimsey500
Level 7
Mar 28, 2024
5
That's rough buddy
Or anything remotely resembling empathy
foolmeonce
Level 4
Mar 28, 2024
4
I recently attended a service for a catholic widow. After giving the eulogy for her late husband she asked, “Would anyone like to say a word for her dear late husband”!? I stood for a moment and said, “Plethora”! She said, “Thank you so much, that means a lot”!!? 
Aaron70
Level 8
Mar 28, 2024
6
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