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A recent NPR report on dating apps was very informative. In this country more and more ‘services’ or ‘products’ are being taken over by bean counters. Money is more important to these people than anything else and yet we wonder why life is becoming so screwed up. [npr.org]

pedigojr 4 May 7
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Truly greed seems to be at an all-time high in all industries but dating and sex apps have always been geared to be big money-makers and they have a receptive audience because so many of us want to meet "the one" (or at least have sex with "the one" ). I know A LOT of couples of all age groups who met online and are in long-term relationships so I think it's being done regularly at this point. The most recent is my best friend who is attractive, accomplished, talented, successful and exacting. She met a guy almost two year's ago through (brace yourself) Facebook Dating and they married last October. Ironically, she's very fit and he's overweight but they clicked immediately so she doesn't care.

I think there are a lot of components that go into dating of any type and luck always comes into play. But even though they try to convince you otherwise, paying more for a service doesn't necessarily mean it will be more successful.

ps - Sorry about your account.

Thanks for you comment. I didn't realize Facebook had a dating site and will look into it. Unfortunately, these days for profit often means that greed becomes a part of the formula.

Before I met my late partner/wife I was a member of several dating groups (not sites like today but clubs). I met a lot of interesting women (in both directions good and bad). Then a brother-in-law, who lives in Dallas - where I'm from, called and said he found the perfect woman for me. I called and we talked over 2 months and then met. We did a distance relationship for months that ended in marriage and it was wonderful. She was in a previous horrible marriage (I've been married, divorced and lived with another for 12 years that also ended). The point is having someone who knows both parties and be willing to take time to really get to know another is critical.

My partner died in 2016 with a perfect, easy death and her bucket list was overflowing (I was also very happy). Too many are looking for 'chemistry' which seems easy but is also a no-brainer (meaning no real, tangible information). How many marry or get together because of chemistry and then find it was not a good match. Luck is definitely a critical part but sometimes people make their own luck.

Thanks for the comment. I joined in 2017 and a few of us got bumped out (due to logging on with FB which then created it's own agnostic group (I was level 9.3). This last time (level 7.6) the site shut down for 3 days, which I didn't know and I tried to change my password which only made things worse.

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Ohferpetessake, all the internet does is widen the pool....do you fall in love with eveybody you meet in person? Or are they a mixed bag......
Do you not get to know them and beware of red flags like them asking about money? ( not even asking for it, merely mentioning it!!!!)
Is it safer to meet over the net or maybe get Roofied in a bar?
I find the crazies can be quite concealed in person but reveal themselves amazingly quickly on the Internet, and find that very helpful!

Hi Anne it's me again (for the 3rd time). I lost my connection at the last shutdown of the site. I added some pictures from my first two times.

I've given this issue a lot of thought and the word 'chemistry' keeps popping up. Everyone says they want to get to know the other first but then want to meet asap to see if there's chemistry. My first marriage was totally, 100% chemistry and it was a mess so I know how that works. One would think from divorcees one would have learned their lesson. With bars its about chemistry + alcohol ad bad mix but still people do it. So far I've not had anyone asking for money but do meet a lot of liars. It's hard enough being my age and living on an island but to then deal with ghoster's, obfuscaters and an increasing greedy organization is too much. I have met women with whom I feel attracted. Often I get to know some of these women better and every time I've asked myself what the hell was I thinking! With my late partner the chemistry was not there but the knowledge was and that made all the difference.

@pedigojr interesting...I have had years when I worked at online dating and wow oh wow some losers and even really creepy losers, and some interesting coffee dates.
Did get a wonderful "penpal" out of it, we "talked" over the internet , often, several times a day sometimes until he passed.
After awhile we mutually decided we treasured the relationship we had and didn't want to jeapordize it by actually meeting (been there done that, exactly like you describe!)
I miss him.

@annewimsey500 Funny, you should mention penpal. I'm in such a situation and we have written some 230 pages so far. We have gotten to know each other a lot better but one major issue is she's a night person (3 am) and I'm a morning person. We do have some things in common but seem comfortable where we are.

@pedigojr if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

@annewimsey500 LOL, this was or is the belief of too many, including my dad. Problem is, something has to break before it gets any attention. I am a total believer in being pro-active and trying to not let things get to the 'breaking' stage. If we don't take care of our health we often get to the breaking stage of cancer. That happened to my mom when something she thought was cancer (it had no symptoms other than a swelling) turned out to be cancer that had spread (ovarian). She suffered for months with chemo which was too late.

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I always ask my wedding couples how they met. A good 20-25% of them met online. I'm not sure if they paid for the dating apps, but there are free ones. My couples are generally above average in intelligence, atheist or agnostic, and more tech savvy than most people, so that might account for the higher percentage of them meeting through dating apps.

I wonder how the free ones work. The report stated some of the smaller ones have been consumed by match and free services are being brought into the paid scenario. I have noticed some services match once offered for free are now being charged. Unfortunately, this is the direction many services and manufacturers (like Boeing) are headed for and we all have seen the results. Remember the musical 'Caberate'?

@pedigojr all of the free ones used to and still do incessantly badger members to switch to their paid versions.
I did it once and swiftly concluded there were Far more scammers there as they knew I had extra money, obviously.

@annewimsey500 I guess the for pay groups couldn't handle competition. It's called having a monopoly.

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