Mothers Day Angst/Rant

This is probably going to sound more like a rant by the time it is done. I'm doing stream of consciousness because I have serious conflicting issues with mothers day. So shouting into the void Vol. XXXXXIIII

It all started when I was pregnant with my first son, literally. I was 7 mos. pregnant the first "mothers" day. I will grant that my baby was inside my body at the time and so I can see how there could be some confusion when my feelings were hurt that my then husband completely ignored it all together. I wasn't that young (27) but I was super naive about relationships between parents. Anyhow, After much hormone enhanced crying the upshot of it was, 1) I was not a mother yet, and 2) I was not HIS mother.

That set the stage for the angst that is still around 30 years later. Get over it, right? But I had that son and then 8 years later another son. No daughters. I was an only daughter with three brothers. So my worldview is informed by 3 husbands, 3 brothers and 2 sons. NONE of whom were sentimental at all except for the 3rd husband and he died.

Bottom line: All my life as a mother, my sons have not done jack shit in the way of acknowleging the fact that without me there would be no them, depending on what religion you choose not to believe.

The problem is further complicated by the fact that I think Mother's day and all the holidays, frankly, are bullshit conjured up by corporate overlords to sell stupid cards, flowers and tasty, or not so much, candy. Clearly my interpretation of this bullshit holiday in in the minority. That's okay, that's where my thoughts generally live anyway.

But I still have this stupid, fucking, sentimentality toward Mothers Day. For many years, my sons did nothing at all for me on Mother's Day. Why would they? I say it's bullshit, they agree. end of story. A few years ago I told them you know what guys I don't want cards, flowers or gifts, but how about you just give me a call on Mother's Day, post on my FB timeline, etc. Just to satisfy the sentimental part of me that won't give in to ignoring it completely, which is what I would like to do.

So this was mostly a rant, if you got this far, if you are or were a Mom, what are your expectations of your children to honor you on an arbitrary day of the year for being a vessel for their existence?