So. I'm gonna come clean here. I am at the tail end of divorcing one of the biggest pricks on earth, hence, a lot of the pent up rage I have is coming out as snark and a yearning for bacon. We are all flawed individuals, me included (gasp from the crowd) but he was extraordinarily broken and I was, by nature, a caretaker and my capacity for empathy and love was ridden by this narcissistic parasite until I cracked in half. The consensus was/is if he wasn't a full blown NPD individual, and was HIGH the fuck on that scale.I have the final divorce hearing Friday, and hopefully that will entail freedom for me mentally and legally. And I guess that's why I joined here. Well. That, and the ad kept popping up about a thousand times a day on my newsfeed. I figure if I was going to approach entering online socialization, I might as well find a bunch of like-minded heathens to help me through all this. I married late in life after being widowed EARLY. This is my first AND LAST marriage. I'll show a little vulnerability here, which believe me, I am loathe to do. The whole hearing thing, and the seeing him again after 6 months is scaring me. Sapping the hard fought and hard won self confidence I gained in the last stretch. It's not about him. It's about all the anger and betrayal, and the way he made me feel small and unworthy. And I haven't fully conquered all that. I haven't made it all indifference. Just how fucking long does it take till that happens? Donno. This is all new to me....