FOR THOSE WHO CARE:

Climax to the story:

So. There's this divorce happening with this narcissist. And if you knew me, or what happened to me, you'd understand why currently I seem like a vulgar, possessed whirlygig with Tourettes on Ritalin.

Tomorrow is the big day. The big day. I have no idea what's coming up. I'm prepping like its some sort of Dr. Strangelove storyplay and thinking, "well yah. shitty people win."

I had gotten to the point where, I was rationalizing a win for me. Yes. The purpose of my expedited divorce was A) to get a lying, cheating, narcissistic parasite off my insurance and B) to get a lying, cheating, narcissistic parasite out of my life.

So, freaking the fuck out, I try not to take out most of the population of Columbia with a semi-automatic and console myself to the thought, "fuck, well, the shitty people sometimes win." The secondary tragedy was "HOLY FUCK, I got to buy a skirt or something."

I go to the Dress Barn. And for what they have done for me, I will be a spokesman till I die. We are rooting through what I should wear and I am slowly freaking the fuck out some more. Hey, don't judge, its my comfort zone.

First Freak out: they ask me sizes, I don't know... after trying on almost everything, it turns out, I went down 6 (I KNOW, RIGHT?!) dress sizes from October. Sucky thing is , I didn't keep up the running so I'm wearing down like the Sphinx. Bulgey, thin, bulgey, thin....

Second Freak out: A couple of the Dress Barn ladies have HAD a divorce done in Lexington County, and I explained my situation. And the big consensus is " FUCK you got this? are you kidding? this is the SOUTH". I have never been more grateful for bigoted, traditional southern christian values in my fucking life. My only thought is that A) Jesus, I really don't want to send anybody to jail and B) Was he REALLY this dumb?

I don't really know if all of this is bullshit. But, it has lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders. I kind of regret not getting a local attorney who knows the politics of the local court system, but apparently a defaulted adulterer.... well. Let's just say, I might have a chance to get through this.

And well. For this last crazy week, you all have been community and belonging for me. This was a good place to anchor.

let's see what happens next....