Just want to relate a true tale from my Catholic youth: I was nine years old, or thereabouts, attending Sunday 9:00 A.M. mass (designated the "children's mass" ) and had the misfortune that day to be sitting next to the nun who was my Sunday School teacher. About mid-mass, a very operatic sounding voice began wailing away in the choir loft at the back of the church, and I (curious how a human could create such a sound) turned around to see who the singer was. Suddenly, I felt a stinging slap to my thigh, and when I turned back around the nun hissed at me, "You're turning your back on God! Face forward!" Confused, I had the presence of mind to reply, "But Sister! Last week you told us that God is everywhere, so how can I possibly turn my back on him?" You can imagine how that went over! It earned me yet another slap on the thigh, so I let things be for the time being. This turned out to be the same nun I later asked if Catholics were cannibals, since we believed that the communion host was the actual body and blood of Jesus. Sister first accused me of being a troublemaker, but then I floored her with yet another question: "How long does Jesus stay alive in our stomachs when we receive communion, Sister? Oh, and does his dead body go out of us when we poop?" A note home from Sister about my incorrigible behavior in class served to cause me to shut up for the remainder of my Catholic imprisonment, which only ended when I took a comparative religion course in college and began to wake up.