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What amount of time should be normal for the 'expectations' of a text or phone call when you first meet someone. Should the expectation be immediate? Or something earned...

Need Guys n Girls perspective on this one please

Hutch 7 May 30
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14 comments

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1

Don't expect anything from anyone ever. Should definitely not have any expectations at that stage. Just it as it goes, as if it's nothing and has no meaning. If someone messages you, that's fine. You can tell if things went well based on the vibes of the situation.

Obviously society has a thing, where you don't want to seem too keen on someone or it's uncool, so some people will hold off on purpose. You could expect a text anywhere from directly after your first meeting to like 5 days later.

I don't personally, I just say it how it is. If you got a good vibe from it and you don't get a text and you want to text them, just text them, then if you haven't heard from them in a few days, then just forget it, don't even bother.

You'll know when the person is cool and on your wavelength because none of that weird stuff happens you just text each other when you feel like it and nobody gives a shit.

0

How exactly does one "earn" a call or text from you, The Most Desirable Man Alive? The charm, pretty face, nice body, the backrub, having you in my home, enjoying each other's company

1

I never knew dating was so complicated.

Who knew right?

0

From now on, I'm just using men for sex, that way we both are happy when nobody calls within 48 hours, no hard feelings, JUST SEX!! Oh, and another thing, the woman you don't want to talk to, if I were her, I'd be over it by now. NEXT!!

0

Yes, and any man that begins texting a woman in the middle of the night, after one date, just to let her know that she is on his mind, should not be asking this question.

0

It would depend on whether or not you wanted your underwear and swimsuit back, y'know, the ones you left at her place hanging on the balcony after spending a Friday and the following Monday at her place!?? Swimming, laughing, getting stoned, cooking, making out, putting your mouth and hands all over her body ..... etc etc .... But "immediate" expectations? Naaaahhhh that's crazy!!!!! She must be one crazy, scary woman. You poor thing!!? I hope your next encounter isn't so confusing for you. Good luck!

0

every situation has its own outcome so like most things id play it by ear

1

We still laugh about me not calling my (now) wife for a week after a fix up date. And we didn't get together for weeks after that.

2

From my experience:
After a first date, if she likes you, she will text within 12 hr saying she had a great time.
If you text her first, start the timer, if she takes longer than 2 hr to reply with a terse message, you're out of the running, start looking elsewhere.

And, if she was at her bestie's birthday party and forgot her phone at home and replied when she got home at 2.5 hours to say she had a great time, then what?

If she gives a reason for being late on the reply then she's sincere. You're good to go 🙂

@jujuofthesea But, wait, remember you wrote her off at two hours. Hmmmmm...... 😉

@BlueWave
Two hour + Terse message = NO GO
Two hour + I’m so sorry for the late reply, my cat ate the phone, I had a great time … blah blah blah = GAME ON ?

@jujuofthesea Gotcha!

6

There's too much bad advice being offered on dating coach sites.

Do you mean texting and calling after or before a date?

I'd say it depends how the date went. If it went great, I'd send a text half an hour later saying something like "I really enjoyed our date, it was lovely to meet you. I hope we can meet again sometime?."

I would avoid mind games and be honest and transparent. I don't see the point of waiting days to reply. That seems pretty passive aggressive in my opinion, and women should communicate equally. It shouldn't be left to the man.

If it didn't go so great, would you still text half an hour later saying "Sorry, this won't work out" or would you remain silent like most people? My guess is, you'd remain silent because it's human nature, we don't like to be the bearer of bad news and we hate to let others down.

@jujuofthesea

Probably. That's why my comment was about a good date.

Yes, I noticed. So you're only honest and transparent for a good date, otherwise, it's ghost city - which is standard practice.

@jujuofthesea

Would you want to be told there was no chemistry?

Some people get hostile when they're turned down. It's a tricky situation. What would you do?

@jujuofthesea C'mon.......................geez -- you've gone and made her sound like a not nice person. I'd garner a guess that if the bad date person contacted @ellatynemouth, she would politely say that they are not a match.

If the date was bad and neither of them contacted the other, it doesn't seem like either party is "ghosting" the other -- just realizing that there is no need.

@BlueWave

Thank you.

@Ellatynemouth @BlueWave No no no no ... I think you misunderstood my meaning. I wasn't criticizing Ella for being a bad person, not at all, and I apologize if it came off that way. I was illustrating a point to the original poster that if he doesn't hear anything, it's more than likely bad news.

1

Don't hold your breath, you might turn into a smurf !

2

Some people lead very busy lifes. It takes me a week sometimes to text my sister back... I'd say about 2 days with a new relationship... Just a simple hi. I had a good time. Blah blah blah.
It took the hubby and I about a week, but he traveled allot for work.

1

When you get home/next day just a quick "had a great time" sort of thing I guess.

1

Funny meme
The expectation should be earned just like trust

Thank you...i was concentrating on the expectation part, not the actual messaging itself

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