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So - after many years, she just had to do it ...

My sister and her family, are super Christians, have been for a long time. Good for them. For any occasion I used to get all kinds of "holy" cards. Finally, I wrote her a loving letter saying "look, you have your beliefs and I have mine , different than yours. Could we just respect that and please drop the sales pitch ?" After that things toned down - no more hints and holies. Till now ...

Each year we exchange simple gifts. But in my package this year was included a small book - only 91 pages. Title? - "The Case for Christmas : a journalist investigates the identity of the child in the manger "

I leafed through it. Do I feel compelled to read it ? No. I find I'm a little miffed. I was thinking when I speak to her on the phone, I'll ask if this book was maybe sent to me by accident ? Ha.

OH - that damn selling dies hard, doesn't it ?

Anyone else have such occurences with friends or family ?

evergreen 8 Dec 25
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7 comments

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@evergreen
You could return it next year or at her birthday with each page torn out, dipped in diluted gravy browning, dried out and sent with the message "thanks for the toilet paper. We've all used it now, washed it and now recycle it for your use. We believe that sharing is caring and beliefs should stay in the family believing."

Knowing the spirit in which the book was given, does not call for a nasty response - more of a heartfelt one.

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Nope, not in my family. We all have different belief systems & none push on me; oh, there are a few that I do not associate with.

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Fortunately, no. In your case, I would have felt like saying "what the fuck?!" I definitely would have chuckled at such a gift. If I were feeling bold, I might have done something like tossing it into the paper recycling bin. 😀

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Fortunately, my siblings and self are on the same page. Attempting to view that from their perspective, had any of mine done the same, I'd take it as the need to have their brother in agreement… It’s like a confirmation of their doubt.

Tuff call. I’d just recycle it, you’re obviously beyond reading it, so let her bring it up and explain it if she feels compelled. If nothing else, it’s her way of letting you know what’s happening in her life. Unfortunately, not much ~

Varn Level 8 Dec 25, 2017
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That's really tough. Maybe get her an atheist book? "Just returning the favor, I'll read yours if you read mine? Not trying to convert, but it might be nice if we BOTH (she) understood what the other believes."

Good idea.

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Don't read the book. Send it back with a note telling her that she must either learn to respect you and your right to hold grounded beliefs, you will be forced to discontinue communication with her -- regretfully. Remind her that whether or not she wishes to maintain communication with you is her choice -- and responsibility.

I recently had to say the same thing to an old friend of over 50 years who has become ultra-religious -- and it worked.

She lives in another state (literally and figuratively), and our communications are sparse as it is - mostly because I'm not real fond of her husband (long story). I do love her, and she is special. Being as she's the only family I have left, I choose to keep things open and peaceful. While this is mildly annoying, it's not cause for war.

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