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Atheism rubbing off on boyfriend?

Ok so my boyfriend has always been steady in his Christian belief. Though recently I had a good conversation with him by asking all kinds of challenging questions that he could not answer. He started getting upset that I kept asking questions and challenging the Bible to the point he didn’t want to hear it anymore. Just recently he talked to me about how things about god and Satan just doesn’t make any sense. He pointed out if God was all powerful then why is he only limited to doing certain things when bad people appear to get away with things while the innocent suffer. He also told me that he was talking to his mom, who is very religious and started complaining about her and saying he cannot talk to her without her bringing up God and Satan to make sense of things. He also told me that as he was asking her challenging questions, there were many questions that she could not answer. Though he said he still somewhat believe God is real, there are many things that doesn’t make any since.

EmeraldJewel 7 Dec 30
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17 comments

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Belief and religious identification are individual matters. Respecting him as a person means giving him space to figure things out for himself and understanding if he doesn't take quite the same path as you or even wind up at the same destination as you.

So if he's receptive to the subject, by all means continue the question-and-answer sessions. The Problem of Evil is a thorny one that experienced apologists have trouble addressing in intellectually satisfying ways, and it's unlikely that your boyfriend is an experienced apologist. (Clearly his mom isn't.) If he starts to seem uncomfortable about the subject, I suggest you back off, tell him it's OK with you if you talk about something else, and it's also OK with you if he wants some time to figure these religious things out for himself.

In other words, just be the best girlfriend to him you can be when you're with him, the best person you can be at all times, and enjoy your time with him.

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My "boy"friend is Mormon and I am a die-hard atheist. We have been together since 2010. The glue that keeps us together is the fact that we both have the same disability (severe head injuries - me from a car crash in '87 and him from a nearly fatal mixture of medications in '94). Oh, we are also old farts - me 64 and him 70. The best way to keep a relationship going in spite of religious differences is to respect each other and never to talk about it. I don't know if young people can pull it off but it is worth a try.

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You’ve given him a safe harbor ~

Varn Level 8 Jan 1, 2018
1

He's waking up. He is opening the blinds and letting the light in. LOL.

2

I love a feel-good story. Good job. Just a matter of time now.

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Awesome...I have had this be the case with my girlfriends. Helping someone break through to reality. This to me, is the perfect example of how it's going to work, if it's to work at all. You can debate and discuss to your heart's content, but it typically only serves to reinforce the other person's denial of the facts. They tend to cling to what they were told was the 'truth.' And form a wall making it even more difficult to get through to them. Anecdotally, the most effective religious to reason stories I've heard start with a seed. If you can successfully plant that seed of doubt/skepticism, the rest has to take place as that person's own journey. If you've gotten through even to plant that seed, reason should naturally follow. (of course, the length of time this takes differs per case).

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Good to see it working the opposite way of what I have seen in my life. I can think of two very reasonable mates who became all religious once they got married. It goes to show us men can be like little puppy dogs. "She pretty. I like her, so I just give her my brain" I'm talking of my friends, not your situation. You have reason on your side.

2

Be patient. Losing religion is a process. Introduce one challenge for him at a time so he can digest it. He will eventually see all his reasons for believing slip away. Be supportive too, because this can be a painful process.

Yes I’m sure it can be painful. Coming to terms that the very thing you believed in wasn’t there and all was a lie. I feel for people who built an attachment to Jesus Christ.

@EmeraldJewel People I know who have done it have felt better afterward; they feel freed. But getting there really turns one's world upside down. I never really bought into religion, although I did try hard for a while. I look forward to hearing updates about him 🙂

@carlyhorton something about it never clicked with me, either. I will keep you updated, but I’ve also been noticing he’s listening to more heavy rock and metal.

@EmeraldJewel Hmmm...I"m not sure what to make of the metal listening. Is that out of character? Metal itself isn't alarming, but a change in character it.

@carlyhorton his family is against it, but he don’t seem to care, plus he use profanity a lot more lmao!

4

There are lots of questions that science can't answer too. The difference is that science is willing to be challenged and will adapt based on evidence, whereas any religion will carry on spouting its nonsense.

Yes, I agree that science have many unanswered questions, but with scene details people work hard and go out and look for answers. Religion is always the same” God did it.”

2

You may be a Serious Antidote... Can we Clone You? For a good cause.

Sure. It’d be my honor.

@EmeraldJewel as a minimum a vaccine from your DNA.

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Most of the atheists I know were brought up in Christian households, I know I was.

It’s when one actually reads the Bible is when one knows for a fact it is fake.

6

It seems you may be healing your boyfriend from his severe case of religious infection. Perhaps you should be re-named 'EmeraldTheMentalAntibiotic'.

If you manage to complete the process that gentleman may have a great deal to thank you for - but beware, relapses are common when fighting religious infection ... and even when cured he might be delicate for a while.

Lmfao at the nickname you gave me. Thank you! I take appreciation to that!

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Keep up the great work, he may yet end up good enough to keep.

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Well that's great, but be advised that we guys will say and do pretty much anything to keep the company of a beautiful woman. We're kind of programmed that way. Good luck with it.

0

good luck with your boyfriend maybe he will come around seeing do things the proper way, maybe I should say the logical way. Just give them time to think about all he's learning, if he sees it your way and can understand where you're coming from that will be great for you. Good luck

dc65 Level 7 Dec 31, 2017
5

keep that rubbing going beautiful! Gently gently though 🙂

Sacha Level 7 Dec 31, 2017

well at least to start with

Phrasing... just saying... 😉

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