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Can you be yourself in any situation?

I like be myself with all my defects because of all my experiences I can see what I'm right in and where I must work more. But pure and simple in some situations or with some people I cannot be myself. There are some people maybe smarter or more experienced or some people that I admire more and and they really inhibit me.
Have you ever been in similar situation? Any advice that can be yourself in all situations?

By Sensiwoman7
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27 comments

5

I am always myself. Sometimes different versions of myself, but always myself.

Minta79 Level 7 July 8, 2018
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That's very good!

Those are my exact words! I'm glad I read the comments first.

3

Growing up a military brat I moved a lot and learned to adapt and hid who I was for fear of rejection (bio dad was also absent from my life,hence the fear). I always admired the Cyndi Laupers & Boy Georges of the world though, so by the time social media became a thing and I learned how to use it to communicate with my nieces, the introvert in me decided to be more open about who I really am. Having said that, I do think the current political climate begs me to be cautious again, in the interest of survival and the ability to fight another day, something vital for a liberal minded diplomatic type living in a predominantly conservative Christian area.

Snedge Level 4 July 8, 2018
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2

Even in times of being nervous, awkward and quirky, I'm still being myself.

Stacey48 Level 8 July 13, 2018
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2

This is a deeper question than it appears.

First there is the issue of the self. What is it?

In this instance I assume it means being 'authentic'. But since our personality is a product of our life experience and our interactions with other people, how do we know when we're being truly 'authentic'?

We can try to resist being swayed by those around us and make an effort to be closer to our authentic selves. But it's impossible to be 100% ourselves. That would require living in a vacuum.

Ellatynemouth Level 8 July 8, 2018
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You're right..

2

The only thing that stops people from being themselves is fear. And those fears are always subjective and personal to the individual.

Growing up, i always felt alienated from those around me, even though i had loving parents and have had small groups of friends all my life. So I tried being the chameleon to fit in, and since i was a good actor, this worked for a while giving me most of what i wanted. But by my mid-20s, avoiding who and what i really was had become exhausting, old, and boring.

Once I confronted my specific fears, however, I begin appreciating who i was at my core and what i could bring to every table i decided to sit at. In fact, I relearned how to replace my accommodating behaviours with assertive ones. And it worked, which is why 45 years later, i can look back to a wonderful life which continues to bring me joy, daily.

You asked for advice, but since my father used to say "free advice is good for nothing" this is my suggestion for people to consider.

Confront your specific fears, once you know what they are. Then do what you need to do to be yourself despite your fears by jumping in with both feet. What's the worst that might happen.

If it felt good, do it again; if you have regrets after, learn from the experience and don't do it again.

That's how i've lived my life without regrets, but with lots of learning.

josephr Level 7 July 8, 2018
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Thank you so much! You just gave me an free advice, but I will try it to see if it works smile009.gif

Edited

@Sensiwoman7 My father used to tell me that "free advice" is good for nothing. LLOL Like everything my father told me, it was true, but incomplete.

I preferred the Buddha's assertion when i discovered it; "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." What he intended for us to learn was that our lessons in life can from anywhere, anything, or anybody. So that's why i always keep my eyes and mind open so i won't miss the lessons which might help me live the life of my dreams. And it's always worked, and still does. smile009.gif

2

I tend to be me no matter the situation, which explains why I don't get invited out much. smile007.gif

Holysocks Level 7 July 8, 2018
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Ohh

@Sensiwoman7
It's ok. In this burg, I am much happier with a late night bike ride.

@Holysocks good choose! smile009.gif

2

I don't know how to be anything else. That anything else includes allowing myself to be intimidated by others and I do modify my behavior in those circumstances. But that's ok. It is what it is.

patchoullijulie Level 8 July 8, 2018
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I mean that you're saying here..

2

Preserving that sense of my own personality means a lot to me however that isn't a valid reason to not adapt to changing circumstances.
Classic example would be a job interview, where if I choose to be myself they are definitely blacklisting me

DSGavde Level 5 July 8, 2018
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2

After I became comfortable being me, I could venture to try to be like others.

minhmeister Level 8 July 8, 2018
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1

its pretty hard not to be yourself.

Gatovicolo Level 7 July 22, 2018
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1

I am always my self. Ok, when out in public I work on standing up straighter than usual but generally always my self.
At almost 56 years of age I don't feel the need to pretend anymore. Plus, thankfully, I have had a decent amount of validation for my self and I have done some work on the stuff that was not as acceptable. I can always improve my self and I can just accept that I am not going to be everyones cup of tea.
Ah , the perks of being older.

sassysapiosexual Level 6 July 22, 2018
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That's sounds interesting!

1

When you learn to be yourself you will not want to be anybody else, that is when the real control of your life by you begin.

GipsyOfNewSpain Level 8 July 22, 2018
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True!

1

I am always myself but I also remain quiet on certain topics if they come up.

gsiamne Level 7 July 13, 2018
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1

I'm always me. Some situations I don't handle as well as others -- I'm still me. Working on change sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. I would say -- do not worry about your failings, concentrate on your successes.

xyz123 Level 6 July 13, 2018
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Good advice, thank you!

1

I don’t think there is one single “you” in any person. We change a little or a lot depending on situations and circumstances. I am different at work than at home, and when out in social situations I’m different from either of those...

PDF Level 5 July 13, 2018
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1

I do my best to always unapologetically be myself, though subconsciously I am too aware of when my personality is too much for certain crowds or what have you and i will sort of put a pillow over that. I like to feel out a space before I let my Suzi light shine at max. I will never waiver from my opinions and standings because of popular opinions or standings around me though.

SuziQ Level 4 July 13, 2018
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1

Yes & no, my honesty tends to be misinterpreted as disrespect towards nationalistic government employees so if I'm in court or something I tend to be less honest or more quiet than normal.

mt49er Level 7 July 8, 2018
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Ohh, that's sounds not very good..

@Sensiwoman7 I kind of agree as I'd prefer to always be honest and answer questions the way I want to, but regularly being punished in school for disagreeing with undeniably false facts only demonstrated I wasn't dealing with a rational entity so I've learned to bite my tongue a little and that is precisely the part that isn't very good.

1

You are being yourself. When you are in the company of smarter people it is intelligent to just listen and let them do the talking.

doug6352 Level 7 July 8, 2018
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1

You are indeed wise beyond your. Years young lady. 😃

Mikeb56 Level 6 July 8, 2018
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0

Sounds like you are assessing your environment and altering your behavior accordingly. - - Nothing wrong with that as some environments must be socially navigated differently.

I tend to shine when surrounded by brilliant people and or atheists but I often remain less outgoing when surrounded by delusional theists as we often have significantly different views on most topics.

NoMagicCookie Level 7 July 10, 2018
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Ohh...

0

You ask that like I have a choice ...

evergreen Level 8 July 8, 2018
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Congratulations!

0

Sometimes my angry self shows up...like me only ANGRY!

AnneWimsey Level 8 July 8, 2018
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If we want to manage our anger, here's what i did. I was also a very angry juvenile who grew up into an angry young man, mainly about the injustices i saw all around me. I remember being told by a friend of my dad's that i seemed to have a chip on my shoulder. I was 10 at the time. So my anger turned me into an activist by my late teens even though in social settings, i often became an accommodator.

In time however, i learned that anger is always about fear, and a tool we all have to deal with potentially challenging situations.

So if one wants to manage anger, one needs to confront the fear behind our anger. That itself can be a painful process. My anger at injustices hasn't dissipated, i just am able to manage it so it doesn't affect my health or well-being by channelling my anger into peaceful yet transforming actions.

@josephr turning 70 Thursday, done with working on myself...i am just peachy, the problem is a-holes, lol!

Edited

@AnneWimsey Congratulations on your birthday... in advance in case I don't survive my last week in maryland/dc. Anger is Good... I am a very Happy person but do not mind the Anger as outlet of Frustration. I just make it worthwhile now... No whining or bitching. Action, Learned in the Military... First Strike is the only reassurance of a Second Strike.

Edited

No more coffee!! smile009.gif

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