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What if the thoughts never stops? Question chasing question...
Do not feel like I'm part of the system, but obviously I am. Spitted out, rejected, pointed with everyone's finger. I'm fighting it and people's believes. Thinking about myself as someone better, but being conscious about thinking errors. Where does it place me? Can I push myself to unthinkable? Or should we call it freedom... No regrets, no remorse, just pure honesty and full acceptance of myself. Can I live with my desires, can I live without them? What if we could come back to human rawest form? No gods, no rules, no wright or wrong. Would it be chaos?
Influence of society builds up pressure, expectations, demands. Haven't we created this? Cage full of ghost, blunt, chasing fake dream so wheels can keep spinning. Where does it go? When will it stop? Then nothingness, hard to accept. So faith make sense. But faith in what, in who? Myself.
And when the time comes, no fear. I lived my life. Do you?

Martin80 2 Jan 4

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Babe, take a breath! You sound so troubled but the truth is, you are a speck of dust in a huge universe that does not give a rat's ass about any of us, and certainly not our thoughts. So relax and learn to enjoy the little things...IT IS NOT up to you!

I like what you sais right up until IT IS NOT up to you. I keep thinking the only one it is up to is ME. I am captain of my ship, that ship is in the water of the universal consciousness but is not in control of me - or is it? um . . . .

@silverotter11 The only thing you sort of control is your responses to things, and whether you want a bran or corn muffin...and they may be out of the corn ones!

@AnneWimsey good one - that made me giggle - thank you.

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It takes a while to get where you stop apologizing for yourself and your questioning god.

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Methinks thee think too much.

Calm down, take a breath and watch a comedy. Even better, do something you enjoy doing.

And if it helps at all, you're already living in chaos. Get used to it because in this world guess what you get after the chaos? Yes, more chaos.

I've battled possibilities as a younger man as you are now but never for long...I stayed busy with other things including, ironically, using these possibilities to create my art.

Still, let the greater need to deal with "what is" take primary importance over "what may be". Then, the "may be's" won't seem so bothersome.

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Sitting on a river bank might help quiet the mind.

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