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For those who have no children, would you date a partner with a child?

If you didn't have a child, would you be willing to accept a partner who does have children? Would you consider those children your own if the relationship was serious? How involved in raising them would you be?

TwistyOwl 5 July 29
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56 comments (26 - 50)

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0

It all depends on the ages of the adults and the kids and what further plans for kids the adults have.
Before I had kids I’d prefer a guy to not have them because I wanted to have kids and it would be easier, but it was just a preference. But that gets harder in your 30’s. Did find a guy older that didn’t have kids and wanted them. I got pregnant 2 weeks after he proposed.

1

Yes.

3

I enjoy children and being around them, so having a partner with children would not be a big deal to me. I've always wanted to be a mother some day, but have struggled with the ethics of bringing more children into our world (which is why I'm leaning towards adoption if I ever do decide to have a family), that said, if my partner already had children that would work out fairly ideally for me. I would easily accept their children as my own and would want to be as involved in their lives as any other mother would want to be.

Mea Level 7 July 29, 2018
2

I have done so in the past. It's a difficult line to walk--if you get close to the children and it doesn't work out with the parent, that's another messy little heartbreak. On the other hand, you can't date a parent for very long without getting to know their kids.
I stayed in an abusive relationship for the sake of her child (and because I was not very good at relationships and boundaries yet), and the whole thing was very difficult for all involved. That does not mean it is not worth a try. (Well, except the abusive part. Don't try that.)

4

I have children, but I'm answering anyway. =P LOL!

While I prefer to date someone who either has no children, or none at home, I am not letting that in any way restrict who I make connections with here on this site. All of the ladies I have established a rapport with here either have children at home, or are empty nesters. If I wound up in a relationship and the woman had one or more young'uns at home, how close I got to them would depend largely on their situation. Is dad involved in their lives? If so, I would never presume to replace him. I would just become another adult in their lives, and if we all wound up living together I'm sure I would function as a co-parent, but the message would be clear that they have a dad and it ain't me. I would work to make that situation as positive for the kids as possible.

Now with that said, I love kids and I know that--unless they were complete monsters and every moment in their presence was misery (which would likely impact my relationship with mom)--I'd love them too and would behave as a nurturing and loving father to them.

0

You need to think of more then yourself and the person you are going to date. The kids will play a huge part too. You will spend holidays, birthdays,vacations, etc. With them and if it ends you never get to see them either.

Mokvon Level 8 July 29, 2018
1

I love children and I could accept a partner with children and I think they could be like mine.
In the past I had a parter with a girl, I and she have loved each other.

I don’t have a problem with children. It’s unfortunate when the relationship ends because I’ve grown attached to not only the lady but the children also.

1

Personally, I would. I cannot speak for anyone else, but if I dated someone and enjoyed their company, I wouldn't have a problem with a child. And I wouldn't fret over what is until the what if became a this is.
Over the years, ive dated women with children and have shouldered the responsib8lity of being a good and decent role model for her child or children.

4

I met and married a woman with a child. I fell in love with him first. We were together for 19 years and had three girls. Unfortunately our son[I had adopted him] died in an avalanche a few years ago.

1

At my age any woman going out with me is not likely to have children living at home. I can tell you from experience, grown children can be a much larger pain in the ass than the younger ones.

1

I have and would date someone with a child. I had no problem with being with her or helping her raise her daughter. However, I asked if it was alright if she didn’t call me dad. I was happy to play that role, but I didn’t want her to “replace” (if you will) her actual father with me. I wanted her real father to be a part of her life.

The two of them had personal issues, but he was still a good dad to their daughter. Actually, it turned out that she was the crazy one which is why our relationship didn’t work.

Leo716 Level 6 July 30, 2018
0

I never thought I would... until I did. I've never had an interest in children so it was odd at first but not terrible.

In one scenario I was also spoiled in that my girlfriend was married so I was able to help out sometimes when they needed me but I wasn't overwhelmed by the scenario.

As kind as they're not looking for me to be their new dad of the bat I'm okay with dating someone with kids now.

0

The women I go out with frequently have adult children, so it really isn't an issue.

0

Absolutely.

0

Yes
Maybe - depends on the circumstances, at my age most women are empty nesters and I'm pretty sure I don't ever want to live with anyone again
Not at all as I wouldn't date anyone with young kids, I chose not to have children and I'm happy with that choice.

0

Most likely I wouldn't date a person with children. I have no desire to be a father. I don't the patience and understanding a child would need. No, I wouldn't consider them my own if I ended up with a partner with children and do little with raising them.

2

Yes, and I did more than once. I now have a lovely stepdaughter in her 30s, who is a brilliant lawyer!

0

Man, this is a difficult question for me. I have no parenting or disciplinary skills whatsoever, and I know that if I was put in a position where I was raising children I would grow to resent them. I haven't lived my life for myself yet, and I know that it would be my responsibility to live for them. I would certainly consider dating someone who has adult children, who are responsible for themselves, though.

3

Nope. Grown up kids, yes. Small kids, no. I want to be a man’s partner not a mum.

Livia Level 6 Aug 9, 2018
0

I would and I would love her kids and do my best to support them.

4

Absolutely. Most men grow up when they have kids. I would rather him have a child than be a child.

1

Once, in my thirties, I dated a man with young children. I knew quickly it wasn't for me. Adult children are a different story. I haven't given up hope to have grand-children via someone else's children.

2

Only if the kids were over 18. I can’t stand children for more than a few minutes.

Livia Level 6 Aug 17, 2018
0
1

I did marry a single mom (second marriage) with an autistic and delayed development child.
We have been together for 20 years... SHe is my best everything, even though sometimes
drives me nuts 🙂

I do not think that it should matter - either you are in (all pluses and "minuses" ) or you are not...
If the one is the one, than he/she is the one... Everything else is an icing on a cake 🙂

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