Being anti-theist is a very important conviction to have. You know in your heart of hearts that theism is harmful and the negative effects that it could have. Thus, you are compelled to talk about it. That is who you are. In fact that is the best of you permeating. If you are in a relationship, your partner needs to respect how important of a conviction that is to you. He needs to realize and appreciate that he has a very good and beautiful person that cannot remain silent about something that she knows can hurt people. Have you ever talked with him with regards to why you are (or how you became) anti-theist? If so, what was his response?

Tell him what you just said here. If nothing changes, hit the trail. Either way you did the best you could. Which means you don't have to feel guilty, you did your best.

When women ask me, on dates or even just platonic encounters, about my anti-theism, I invite them to read my naughtily subversive romance/erotica trilogy on Amazon.

But I warn them that doing so will unwind (like the many copper strands around an electric motor core) the years of superstition-based nonsense in which their mind has become encased (this is, of course, religion’s implacable characteristic).

I'm a large man with a deep voice and piercing blue eyes (never lost a jury trial), so when this conversation unfolds it's usually in a quiet place and, although I’m dead serious in my response, I mockingly deploy "The Voice of God" in announcing the "inevitable" result (self-induced apostasy) if they read my book.

Several -- impressed that I'd prepackaged my philosophy in an easily downloadable book -- have taken my challenge. Two have “naturally” self-liberated from what they came to agree was, at its core, circular logic-based fantasism, of which religiosity is a mere subset.

I’ve done the same with "Wu-Wu," Reiki practitioners, and several other non-evidence based, "spiritualists.”

It’s all been gentle, “unabrasive” and efficient (no verbal argument, just read my otherwise naughty-fun trilogy and get back to me if you're still not convinced).

BTW, I never bring religion up, and don't argue, since there is no reasoning with absolutism (“Oh, well since god is infallible and he told you this, there’s by definition nothing to debate here, right?&rdquo.

But when THINKING friends bring their religion or fantasist belief systems up and press the issue, I just quietly "cross-examine" by asking questions that they can't answer, or feel silly trying to answer.

Example: "You say the bible is the word of god because it says so in the bible, right?"

It sometimes takes them a moment to grasp that circular-logic underpinning, but it disarms thinkers, as opposed to clench-minded “believers” who are simply not open to, much less can be reached by, reason (no problem there, for they never make it into my social orbit in the first place).

I've never lost a relationship over religion, only political ideology (I won't even accept a blowjob from a Trump supporter). Religiosity is the easiest self-prison to unlock, assuming you're with someone who can be reached by reason, and I don't hang with anyone who can't (my date.com posts effectively screen them out).

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who had strong religious beliefs, or was a Trump supporter, etc. It is totally your choice what to do. Whatever you decide, you don't have to justify your decision to anyone. Good luck.

I learned this past year with my ex (who left me for New Age nonsense) that we, as atheists, can't and shouldn't settle for someone who is deluded by religion and spirituality. I choose to keep looking for a woman that shares my values and is confident with leading a life based on knowledge and truth. I would consider myself anti-theist as well and feel it is my duty to stand up for truth whenever I can. It is a hard journey, especially in the South, but one that I think will pay off one day. Maybe not soon, but it will be worth the wait when you find the right person.

love isn't enough on its own at all. there is respect, trust, and honesty at the top and many more. you know whats going to happen in the end. the truth hurts I know but it is what it is. you only have one life, my love.

I was in a similar situation. Atheist me, "Christian" him, and both of us professing to not have any problem with the other's views. By all accounts it was a non-issue. Until it wasn't.

I'll never forget this red flag: him saying it made him angry when atheists celebrate Christmas. Hearing that from a guy with no active church life who never prays or reads the Bible or anything--meanwhile I'm an atheist with an active church life!--really jarred me. From that point on I wondered how I could possibly feel comfortable being fully myself around him. I wondered how I could be comfortable with someone displaying such inconsistency. We broke up not long after that. Religion wasn't the crux of our break; our attitudes were symptomatic of a fundamental mismatch.

I didn't realize it in that moment, but that strange, sick feeling in my stomach I got when I heard him say that meant my body knew it was over. How does your body feel when you think about how he'll react to what you really want to say?

If you feel like you can't be comfortable being yourself, it's probably time to cut your losses and move on. Maybe check in first, like, "Hey, I'm feeling as though...is that right?"--just to make sure you're not misinterpreting any signals.

From what you've described, it sounds like you're the one with the problem (no disrespect, just keeping it real) because you can't keep quiet about how evil religion is and he doesn't want to hear it. Nothing wrong with either. You don't have to keep quiet and he doesn't have to listen--you can split. If you can't be yourself, you should split. If you can't accept where his values are at, you should split.

I split with my guy after 3+ years of love, trust, openness, and acceptance--understanding that we had very different views and being totally cool with it. I reached a point where I learned more deeply where his values were at and I couldn't take it. I considered spending the rest of my life--with this loving, sweet, stable man who adored me--feeling like I couldn't fully be myself, or fully connect to him...and i knew I didn't want to spend one more day like that.

Literally trust your gut.

I read this and "not being completely happy with him" jumped out at me. Why are you not happy with him? I live in the bible belt as well and it really sucks.

Sadly , it sounds like you've invested a whole lot of time into a dead-end connection.

Staying where you are - even though you love him, will mean you will have to suppress who you are. A very uncomfortable place to be in - as you're finding out.

Best to you, whatever you decide ....

You aren't happy with this person. He diminishes your thoughts and feelings. When "but I love him", becomes an excuse to tolerate anything, it's time to move on.

You have to decide what is more important to you-your views in religion, being respected when you speak and having a peaceful environment for your son. Or the relationship you have with this man. The decision is yours.

Ooh, tricky one. You love him, and he obviously loves your son and, no doubt, you... but that last sentence ("it hurts that he not only thinks that's pointless but won't even bother to take into consideration WHY I care so much." ) says a lot - he sounds like a reasonably decent guy (unlike your Catholic ex, who sounds like an arse), but if he's not willing to at least try to acknowledge your point of view, still less understand it, I can't help but think you seriously need to consider if you might be better off elsewhere and if he might be better off with someone who shares his views. Good luck.