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Closet atheism

Has anyone ever had to hide the fact that you are agnostic or atheist from a loved one?

JMcD 3 Jan 11
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Every day. My parents are Christian, specifically Southern Baptist, my in laws, even my children profess to be Christian. I used to identify as such but about 5 years ago I began a new path.

I have not told anyone in my family. I quit going to church. They do not ask me about it and I am sure they “pray for me” all of the time.

I am not combative when they speak of their faith nor do I engage in the conversation with them about it. I usually change the subject.

We don’t talk about religion or politics.

Fab Level 5 Mar 25, 2018
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There is one who pushes Jesus on me and I say nothing. I get away with it because this person never asks me anything, just instructs, and it's really not up for discussion anyway. Anything other than meek acceptance would be taken as an act of war. Unfortunately this has the effect of binding my tongue with pretty much anyone else in the family and the community at large.

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I couldn't do that... I will not throw it on her face either. Remember you said loved one.

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I never claimed to be anything when I was younger, I just always told people I was raised Catholic so they wouldn't question me more. When I got older, I found out the name for what I was, Agnostic. I didn't raise my kids with any religion, but I was not against it. My son is Atheist and has no problem telling people. My daughter is Christian. They may both change their minds one day to something else. Whatever they chose I will respect it.

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I haven't and won't but if my life depended on it I would till I could get away.

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I really don't come out and say I'm an atheist. I always just tell people that I'm not a religious person and believe the bible is full of BS. Figure they can put two and two together themselves. Well, that and the fact that have an atheist car emblem of a T-rex eating a Jesus fish on the back of my mini van. #momgoals

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I hid the fact that I was an Atheist from my wife for 15 years. I was afraid she might divorce me. I did not lie to her ever. I have studied Christianity and the bible all my life, I spend a lot of time studyingng it, hours a day. Everyone thought I was a Christian including my wife and children, peoplewould ask me questions, I would answer them according to Christian theology. They never, ever asked what I thought. I kept my thoughts to myself.
One day my son said "oh my god" in class. His teacher said "you are a Christian, don't say that" he responded "I'm an atheist". She sent him to the principles office. He was in the 8th grade.
He came home and told me he got in trouble and expected to get in trouble. I questioned him for an hour. I wanted to know if he was being belligerent or if he did not actually believe in God. Once he finally got mad, and said "I just don't believe dad" I knew he was an Atheist.
That moment changed my life. When my wife came home she was mad as could be as she had already heard what had happened.
In defense of our son I confessed to being an atheist. This is the interesting thing. She of course started in with I have no morals and just want it be bad. I told her I'm the same person I was 5 minutes ago that you've been married to for fifteen years. The only difference is that now you know I don't actually believe in a god. It was the only argument I have ever won in 20 years!

@meerasate When speaking to theist, I make it all about me. I didn't know what to think about....I couldn't understand how all sins are forgiven and blasphemy is an unforgivable sin. This way I'm not questioning their belief I'm simply confiding in a friend about my cognitive dissonance. No debate, no hurt feelings. If I do it right they might ask themselves the same questions.

@meerasate its something like "I deny there is a holy spirit" now that I'm condemned to Hell forever I guess ill just stay an atheist.

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my mother has no idea that I'm agnostic, and my brother (and daughter) consider themselves atheist. As much as I love her, it is beyond her ability to comprehend that anything other than southern baptist is not equal to devil worship.

I love my mom - but it is not a topic she is capable of discussing or understanding. For the record, she's 76, and has led a very sheltered life with a very narrow worldview.

I kept my atheism from my mother who passed away 7 years ago but I think she suspected. When she was dying she never asked me about it but I think if she had I would have lied just because I wouldn't have wanted her to have any doubts about herself in her last days. Since her death I do not hold back and the only people who give me any grief over it are a few of my coworkers who claim to be christians but do not in any way live the life of a christian.

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Nope. I am pretty open about being atheist, and those who matter know, those who don't matter may or may not know. It is not like wearing a scarlet letter.

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