I don't think a tiger can change it's stripes..
If you do forgive, don't forget....

So this may seem odd but I think this game theory problem the iterated prisoners dilemma illustrates how forgiving behaviors work out in many situations. They end up exploited. There are some but not most situations where forgiveness can work out an be an advantage and not be exploited. I think a strategy of random forgiveness weighted based on a history of success vs exploitation could make sense. Generally you should be trusting but not forgiving unless they make it right in the first place. In life I wouldn't go out of my way to deal with people who test if they can exploit me.

It is my opinion that there are some things that are unforgivable. For instance, if a nine years old child is molested should that child forgive his or her abuser? I think not. There should be another word for the 'letting go of anger' that would allow a person to put what has happened to them in perspective and behind them. How can anyone forgive a rapist, murderer, or violent spouse? But seething with anger all the time will make that person very sick over time.

if it will make you feel better

Forgiveness is a complex issue. I readily forgive people when the damage is slight and was obviously not intentional. From that point on, it gets ... sticky.

Anger and hate take a toll on those experiencing those emotions so, forgiving those that have wronged you is for you and your well being. Forgetting that wrong is a different matter altogether.

Personally most times I prefer a different approach I don't get angry I get even, that can be even more satisfying than forgiving ever is.

probably, but i don't really follow that all the time

Forgiveness is the recognition that what has happened in the past cannot be changed and being angry is a waste of emotional energy. That said, forgiven does not mean forgotten.

I struggle with this one. I have read all of the things that say to have peace you have to forgive, but for me I would really have to see some remorse and amends. Even then I’m most likely never going to forget. There are some people who think they can just say “I’m sorry “ and that all should be fine. If they are forgiven easily then it is simply too easy to do the same thing again and expect the same outcome. For me forgiveness has to be earned. That being said, I’m talking about some kind of major offense.

I don't think so. If there is no remorse or regret where is the need? I am not saying that a person should hold a grudge or stand in judgement

I would say yes because forgiveness resides in me and my attitudes. If I hold a grudge or a resentment the other is not influenced at all. I am injured by any and all resentments I carry. Forgiveness has little to do with anyone else, just my own mental and emotional state. However, I do not forget hurts or injuries and maintain a caution whenever the offending person comes back into my sphere. I forgive a rattlesnake, but i keep my guard up.

I've learned that sometimes forgiveness is for yourself. Not for others. Learning this the hard way when someone does you so wrong yet refuses to acknowledge all they did to you.

no

Not always . . . I may forgive but I certainly will not forget. I've got a big storehouse for that so it's not a burden. I have stiff neck and find it hard for me to turn the other cheek.

forgiveness is earned, not given.

I think you must do it for yourself and not always for the offender. Giving forgiveness can be as much a gift to yourself as it is a gift offered to another. If forgiveness has been earned through an honest attempt at restitution then doing so can bring relief to yourself and others around you. However, even without an earnest effort to restore the situation or where there is no hope of ever achieving restitution, finding peace in yourself requires that you forgive. It doesn't mean you must allow the offender any alleviation from their guilt or punishment. You can forgive an individual internally and move on without allowing contact with that individual.

Not always no.. some things are just meant to be left alone and not forgiven but forgotten and just move on. If someone does something maliciously, to a point of no going back...how can that be forgiven? It really depends on what needs to be considered forgiven or not.

NO! If someone is evil, hurts others, or calls for my death in their holy books, they only deserve scorn. Forgiveness is a religious concept, which they do not follow, given their eternal hell. You move on in life after others have done you wrong, but it is a silly concept to forgive abuse, murder, etc. You can use your anger towards positive things, such as helping others, but there is no need to forgive unless a person truly deserves it.

Yes. Holding on to negative emotions is unhealthy. You don't have to forgive someone to their face or have them know you've forgiven them either to reap the positive benefits of forgiving a transgression.