5 2


Are you in a relationship that has led to feelings of inadequacy or self doubt? Does the other person lead you to doubt your logic, question your emotions, and fear that you overreact. In attempting calm, honest discourse, are you made to feel guilty, ignored or imposing? You may be the victim of emotional abuse called Gaslighting.

This form of abuse, having effects similar to extreme bullying, should be taken serious. It can be done by a romantic partner, a friend or any important figure in a person's life. Motivations can be dominance, control, anger or riddance. Gaslighting is very harmful, causing anxiety, depression and can trigger breakdowns. Here are a few sIgns.

  1. You question your own emotional stability.
    In arguing with the person, they portray you as too sensitive or dramatic. They dismiss your feeling or honesty, showing that your concerns are not worth addressing.

  2. You doubt your personal worth and the value of your efforts for others.
    Although still present in your life, they treat you with increasing disregard and silence, while claiming to care and fairness. When you state their importance, they do not respond or claim you are being manipulative.

  3. You finish each discussion with an apology. They maintain a feeling of being offended, by maintaining a passive indifference and uncomfortable silences.

  4. You blame yourself for changes in how you are treated.
    They make weak or no excuses for late or forgotten calls or failures to appear, showing decreasing personal interest. While they would find such behaviors rude, you are ignored or made guilty if mentioning them.

  5. You feel responsible yet powerless.
    When trying to improve the situation, they ignore or claim there is no problem, then chastise you for the attempt. They, themselves will take no responsibility in making the situation better.

  6. You have no voice in the relationship.
    Attempting to please them, they are put in position of superior judgment and no fault.

  7. You fear that saying anything, no matter how innocuous, will lead to a negative result.
    You feel inadequate, even when trying to be honest and calm.

Gaslighting is a serious form of emotional abuse. The results can be devastating and, in some cases, lead victims to suicidal thoughts.
Evaluate your own actions regarding this form of abuse.

SenseiBeck 4 Jan 14

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


@SenseiBeck a timely piece. I recently met some proponents here on this site. Having recently experienced gaslighting by members of the local police force I should have been more alert. ... life is too short and karma works in strange ways.


Thank you for spreading the word. I was in a marriage for a long time where gaslighting was the standard order of the day. It's been 12 years now and I am in a much more emotionally healthy place.


This completely describes my ex, she made me feel like I was losing my mind. As well as ruining my relationships with my children, family, and a lot of friends. I thought that my Marriage was bad. At least my ex wife never beat the shit out of me, knowing I wouldn't hit her back.


Good article, thanks for sharing.


I went through "gaslighting" for ten years. I ended the abusive relationship nine years ago. I was ganged up on by my ex-husband and his new drinking, working and gaming buddy my bf.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:15108
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.