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LINK The scapegoated child – set up | Health Digest

You never know what abuse you are suffering at the time you are a child. Learning about it helps you heal.

‘IF I CAN BRAINWASH YOU, AND EVERYBODY AROUND YOU INTO BELIEVING YOU ARE BAD, YOU WILL WORK EVEN HARDER TO PLEASE ME; AND I WILL HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOU.’

goldrose 7 Aug 15
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My brother and I were a year and a half apart . but we had different rules . Mine were stricter and at the time , I can recall asking my Mother why I was the second class citizen . He did get more , "privleges ," BUT going through life , I think my upbringing served me better , in the long run . While he's a year and a half younger , he's been much sicker for a lot longer , due in part to his concept of , he ," gets the biggest . best , and most of everything , screw everybody else ." He's treated himself to way too much food for way too long . He's now on dyalesis , and had a quadruple bypass some twenty years ago . I have never had a mortgage on my current home , he's still paying on his , long after he retired . He typically got paid more , but did not handle his income well . We both started college as adults , he earned a two year degree , I earned a 4 year degree . So , in the end , I learned from him , that our parents considered me the smart one . My upbringing was less privliged , but has served me better in the long run . Thanks Mom & Dad !

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Yup. That article describes my life accurately.

This year, when I decided to come out as agnostic, I also defriended and deleted two abusive siblings from my social circle because I was deleting Trumpites from my social media.

Sadly, I'd kept "forgiving" my family and allowing them to stay in my life, because of my religious beliefs, even though I neither trusted nor liked them, since the abuse, derision, and disrespect was ongoing.

Before my parents died, in 2008, I did confront them and get them to apologize. Nor sure if they really understood what they'd done to me, though.

Both my parents are narcissistic. I was the only one not brainwashed and therefore the “bad” one or as I just learned the “scapegoat.” They turned my sister against me and she finally woke up. The last straw was when my mom was telling the kids what a horrible person I am.

@goldrose Both my mom and dad seemed compelled to tell complete strangers what a loser I am. My mom even made up stories on the spot. I called her on it before she died and she said she was sorry. But dunno.

@birdingnut yes, my mom always put me down in front of men I was in relationships with. I think in some weird way it made her feel better about herself?

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