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Read this once and think about it when people preposition ridiculous 'alternatives' to a situation.

  • ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
  • WITNESS: No.
  • ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
  • WITNESS: No.
  • ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
  • WITNESS: No..
  • ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
  • WITNESS: No.
  • ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
  • WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
  • ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
  • WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
#laws #lawyers #humor
DreadlySmart 5 Jan 17
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0

Level 7

I feel like it is a minority that practice said tactic. It is still annoying when it happens.

2

Level 9

LMAO, an oldie but a goodie!!!

1

Level 5

OMG, so so good, thank you very much!

Issa Level 5 Jan 17, 2018
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4

Level 9

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. ~ William Shakespeare, Henry VI, Part 2

4

Level 7

Reminds me of the hunter who called 911.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

oh! fuck that WAS funny!!

Well, would you believe that is one of my all time favorite jokes!
2

Level 3

As an attorney, I find this offensive--JUST KIDDING! I love lawyer jokes!

1

Level 10

Another oldie & goodie, many, many lawyer jokes have been around for ages. I think this goes back to the 1800's when Dr. Frankenstein was practicing!

Forgive my innocence...I thought Dr. Frankenstein was a scientist. Did he also practice law, or was this a joke that just flew over my head?

The person being questioned was Dr. Frankenstein, in my scenario, what with having a brain in a jar on his desk & all.
3

Level 6

Good one!

Nena Level 6 Jan 17, 2018
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