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Can friends remain friends after a serious breach of trust?

Or would things be forever changed?

atheist 8 Jan 17
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14 comments

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In my experience, once that occurs, you are from then on an acquiantence, at most.

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Forever changed.

@atheist you can ring my belllllllllllll hahahahaha

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Well.... I don't think so. Trust is earned. So is my unconditional love. I may say I love you... but that means I'm willing to tolerate certain comments and actions untill I think they had enough time regather themselves to learn something. After awhile I may loose that unconditional love because I've had enough and need to move on. I need to see progress in that persons belief system and I need to see remorse for their action.

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Yes. It may take some work, and it will be involved, but it can be done.

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It is not uncommon for people to act or think along lines that are not in their own best interest or the best interests of others. It is human to make mistakes and it is also human to LACK a deeply developed awareness of who they really are. It is also human to take on the "thinking" of others who may not be the best examples of humanity. Thus people can make mistakes, not necessarily stemming from an evil nature with themselves but because of misguided confused or disoriented condition. When a person is not truly operating as themselves, they can break trust, agreements, and generally act dishonestly. We have all done this. Often the reaction we experience when witnessing an unjust act is the inkling within ourselves that we may have done something similar ourselves to someone else. When you condemn another, you condemn yourself in the process. People can change, but they need to expand their consciousness and sphere of responsibility before that can happen. When I see evidence of that happening, I can forgive based on the evidence that the offender has realized the "what and why" regarding their offense. When a person realizes the anatomy of their own stupidity that caused them to act poorly, they can recover the sense of the good person WHO THEY REALLY ARE. Condemning others to designations of "badness" only helps them to incarcerate themselves in a false identity. That may be the worst crime of all.

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People can overcome almost anything if they sit down and work it out like responsible, level headed adults. They may need a therapist or counselor to referee but I think most people can overcome most things and rebuild the trust if everyone puts in the work. I think most people just aren't willing to put in the work. I say that with no judgement, either - if you're done, you're done and that's okay.

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no to da na na na

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I think some marriages survive after infidelity? I cannot imagine this myself, but I have seen it. Maybe i am moe unforgiving than others...but trusting lost is not coming back.....

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In my experience, no.

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Depends on what that breach entailed and if you mean fair weather kind of friend or someone you consider a close friend and deeply trusted for some time. I would likely not consider that friend very close anymore but might remain light/loose friends.

If it was purposefully done and meant to be hurtful then not a chance, ever. If it's a long term friend and accidental, it could eventually be repaired depending on if this friend busts their backside to fix or make up for what was done. Things do happen, misunderstandings happen, and no one is perfect.

There are some things that are just unforgivable and that would be the ultimate decision maker.

AmyLF Level 7 Jan 18, 2018
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Once trust is betrayed it can never be fully recovered. A small portion of suspicion will always live within. To earn the majority of trust back complete transparency must be offered and maintained willingly.

Betty Level 8 Jan 18, 2018
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Where I stand is, once trust is gone. It takes a long time to get it back. The people that has done that to me in the past. I stepped them down to acquaintance status.

MoniB Level 6 Jan 18, 2018
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I think it depends on the exact circumstances, but if the trust-breacher is genuinely contrite and puts effort into re-establishing trust, I think friendship can remain.

@atheist The context certainly matters for me. If a friend is dealing with addiction, for instance, and steals money from me to buy drugs, that's a rather serious breach of trust, but if they're remorseful, dedicated to recovery, etc., I see no reason that we couldn't in time repair or rebuild that trust.

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