first of all, while intelligence and education are often a good match, they do not mean the same thing. you can be educated without being intelligent and intelligent without being educated. second of all, all black people do not speak with the same accent, enunciation or vocabulary. i heard a distinct new york accent on tv yesterday that amused me so much i turned to look at the screen and whereas i had immediately pictured a college roommate who had spoken like that, and since she was young, slender and white with dark hair, that is how i had pictured this speaker, i found that the speaker was a heavyset black woman of quite a different age from my college roommate (at that time, anyway), and there she was, sounding just like my long-island-born-and-bred white roommie. it wasn't a shock; i already KNEW all black, white or any other kind of people don't all sound alike. but it was funny to have my first impression blown sky high. and by the way, what this person was SAYING, in her new york accent, was pretty darned intelligent. so... stereotyping is downright silly.

third of all, there is a lot of jealousy at play in some families. my mother was insecure, and she was always throwing my college education in my face; her parents had only had enough money to send one kid to college, so they sent her brother, who admittedly was a genius, but my mom was intelligent too, and she never got over not being able to complete her education. my younger sister didn't like to read (i read like i breathed) and did indifferently in school, and didn't complete a college education either, so my mother was always protective of her in a way that indicated that she thought i was lording it over my sister due to my higher intelligence (possible but unproven) and education (can't be denied). i wasn't, but that didn't make any difference. i was accused anyway. so i know where you're coming from in that regard, even though i don't have the stereotype thing to deal with -- not that particular one, anyway.

i don't know how to solve the problem of course except to say be yourself. you are the only self you have. be that. if it busts people's expectations, if it makes people uncomfortable, well, maybe they need to have that happen. try to enjoy it. it may not be your life's mission, but it can be a little side-mission: surprise people! but always be... how can i put it? never EXPECT to discombobulate people. give folks the benefit of the doubt. enjoy it when they freak out, but don't expect it, or you'll be doing to them what you don't like done to yourself. i hope i put that cogently... and without saying you ARE doing that. just saying that when it happens so much, you can get so used to it, that you expect it and then that changes you. don't let it change you. be yourself.

g