I realized many years ago that religion is a prop that many people can,t liive without.When I lost my father at14 that was also the time that I started seriously questioning not something taken lightly.My first wife,a lovely woman in all ways.She was R.C.but like mostR.Cs brainwashed from birth.When she passed away with cancer it strengthened my atheism even more,because if there is a higher being how could he allow such a good person to leave 2 sons an a husband. this is probably a tale that many could relate to but as I said earlier over many years my beliefs were not arrived at lightly.But after much serious thoug
ht.

I spent two+ months aching over such a thing. Timing is everything. I took solace in distraction and good friends. Singing. If I'm ever sad and need to distract myself so I can function properly, (like at work) singing takes up enough of my brain and body activity that it's difficult to be sad. I say really dive into something that captivates you. Do something productive, ANYTHING. There is no healer like time.

Recently actually, and we were together for 4 years. I just... couldn't keep her with me when she was so miserable. I ended it on good terms, albeit with a lot of crying involved. We still talk, but she's moved on and is happier than she's ever been. That's all I've ever wanted for her, that is what keeps me okay with what I did.

As for your situation, I have nothing man. If she knows how you feel, but doesn't want the same even if she feels the same, then it's for the best. A one sided relationship is poison. Besides, if there is no hard feelings either way, she may be ready for a relationship later in life.

I accepted and eventually felt comforted by the fact that my soulmate will always be in my life in some capacity by remaining friends.

kept myself occupied and had other things that were on my mind that i didn't want to let go of

Right in the feels man.. as I was in my divorce process I met a woman who I clicked with, and loved and was loved by more than I ever knew possible in my life.. she was escaping from an abusive husband, I from an psych abusive wife.. we had 6 months of absolute bliss. Then her family convinced her to stay with the abusive husband.. because it was the Catholic thing to do. We met one more time after she told me, as we ended it, she told me still loved me more than she ever thought was possible.. I had never felt pain like that before, emotional pain became physical pain, I felt like I was having a heart attack for weeks. it's been 3 years now.. I've dated since.. I've been loved... but the heart has never fully forgotten, or healed. I honestly don't know that it ever will.. but I also know I must move on. So I make the most of life.. I enjoy whatever I can, and I meet people, make friends, and make new good memories to fade out those of her. Initially, I made a deal with myself.. every time I thought of her I'd do chin-ups until the thoughts went away.. I got up to over 100 chin-ups a day... so I got a physical benefit from the pain. eventually I went from not going 5 mins without thinking about her, to lasting an hour, to now only once or twice a day. I try to remember the good times, and not think about the pain of loss. I find friends or lovers to make new memories associated to the same things, to help ease life forward. I've met some that were able to exceed her in certain aspects, but no one that has been the whole package. I keep looking, I keep my head up, and I keep being the best I can be, and not let the pain be seen or felt by others.