I don't like it when someone doesn't have a pic. Fake or real. It just bothers me. Of course I'd prefer the pic to be real and recent. If I can do this why can't everyone else? It feels dishonest or something.

I have no pic because I don't know about this site and I'm still trying to figure out what I want. Well I sort of know but can't decide what is a deal breaker vs. a preference. On other sites I kept putting more and more requirements on my profile but I kept getting responses from men looking for kinds of relationships I didn't want or who just didn't stand out from everyone else. I got bored. I met a few guys but no chemistry. Usually narrow filtering (thinning the herd) works for me very well but not so much lately.

When I see an avatar on a profile where that person is interested in dating I am concerned that there is something wrong. It could be a fake profile. It could be a person who has low esteem. Or it could be a person who is waiting for the right person or moment to reveal themselves privately as if they are a prize to be awarded to some lucky or unlucky winner. In other words i prefer the authenticity of a picture. It sends the right message to me.

But... the site isn't only for dating. Some of us are just here for the conversation. It's nice to see who you're talking to, but I don't really care about that if they have good ideas to share.

I won't engage with pictureless men at all on dating sites. It's not that looks are that important to me -- my husband was nothing to write home about looks-wise -- but if you don't have a picture, what are you trying to do? Of course, there are also the ones that use years-old photos. Do they think I'm not gonna notice the difference if I meet them?

You can't. It's just an infatuation with who you want that person to be. This applies even if you've seen a photo but have not met. Even if the photo is entirely accurate and the person is good looking, that doesn't mean the chemistry will be there in person. I was once cyber harassed by a guy on another dating platform that I only spoke with online a few times. People especially men, lets be honest, need to not take things so seriously until you meet in person. Not that I am justifying deliberate catfishing, though because that's also wrong.

Sometimes I think of setting up a fake profile on a dating site just to try to scam lonely men. I'd use a cute younger thing's picture. But then I come to my senses. I'm too honest and too busy for that.

Just remember that even profiles with photos aren't necessarily photos of the member. Fake photos. Live camming is far more difficult to fake.

They're trying to be mysterious.