My first marriage failed because we were both inexperienced and she was Bipolar. Things got worse and it finally broke. The next relationship I lived with a woman who turned out to be alcoholic (maintenance drinker, hard to detect). A couple of more relations we okay but no real potential for a meaningful future. We are still good friends.

The elephant in the room is luck and time. One must take time to know the other person and not jump into a committed relationship too fast. Through sheer luck I met a woman who was my perfect match. It was a long distance relationship so we had time to form a good base. We learned from each other and I learned how meaningful a relationship can be. Our recipe was a large dose of reason mixed with a desire to make it work along with a good mix of commonalities and differences. Finally, a need and respect each others alone time. 24/7 is a recipe for being taken for granted and that makes the relationship boring and stagnant. When that happens people start to diminish the importance of what they have.

Finally, the saying you don't fully appreciate what you have until you lose it is true.

Fuckifkinow. 0 for 3 in that category. I suppose I was just an uncontrollable asshole. You'd really have to ask my exes about the why (of course, maybe that's a clue right there), at least the 2 that are still alive. We get along just fine now, btw.

When you've lived together for five years and you just now notice you're not married.
If you're thinking about it, you're not in it.

We all need to be respected for who we are. If you need something from me, ask and if it is within my ability, I will provide it. If not, respect that refusal. I don't want to be you, nor visa versa! Common curtsy, goes along way and trust that you will keep your word goes even further! And when one party fails, it is not the end of the world and asap we should make smends! The rest is just work, fun and games! That is my ideal and I have been privy to some marriages like that. My marriages failed, because the first one came into being before I grew up...a child is ill equipped for marriage (even when that child thinks she is very grown up)!
Second time, underestimated the impact that alcoholism has on everybody, so I choose to save myself, after it was clear...that if I stayed, I would go down with the ship. End of those stories...

Watch "war of the roses"

You Two has to Love each other in Equal Measure. Honesty is a no brainer. Mine failed because I liked Women too much... I still do. So when it ended It was not The End of the World for Me. I knew what I always had wanted.